Posted up outside my local railway station.
ATTENTION THIEVES
This is a working class suburb.
If you must steal, steal from the rich.
In my local supermarket.
Order your fish now for Lent.
From this I conclude I live in a suburb dominated by radical left-wingers and Catholics.
Possibly radical left-wing Catholics.
Who can say?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
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Local sign down my way.
Found. Goat. Call 0419 XXX XXX"
Which suggests I live in the sticks.
Which suggests I live in the sticks.
Yes.
Yes, it does.
When I was a 19 year old goth-punk-bogan living in Richmond, my house was broken into and everything of note was stolen. I too pondered the injustice of why the thieves stole from me instead of rich people, but as a friend said, "Rich people can afford better security than your lame security, which is a backdoor sealed with gaff tape." Fair call.
I lost track of the number of times we were burgled when I was living in the inner suburbs.
My family home was burgled once whilst we all slept and we couldn't work out why they would take the 10 year or more old rusty iron, but then the policeman pointed out that Mother's Day was coming up.
Nothing says "I love you mum" like a load of rusty iron.
A sign near us sez PLEASE DON'T TAKE OUR OLIVES
From this I conclude I live in a suburb full of olive thieves. Another clue. I see women in black with gold crucifixes, shaking trees into their plastic bags
Didn't we record our tenth album in that house, Perseus?
Bob, you and Pers should run tours to that place ala The Cavern.
I got an email the other day about a bloke called Craig who puts really strange notes up on lamp posts and letter boxes in Windsor (NW of Sydney).
They were hilarious, but he is one strange dude. I can forward it to anyone who'd like to see it.
I saw that Wari
He sounded like a real catch
Mrs L looked at it from a female perspective too. He's a weirdo. But funny!
I love the last one where he thinks he has a time machine, so don't be standing here at 11:37 on Saturday. But he won't be in a Delorean or be half man, half fly. This isn't the movies you know!
What an imagination.
Yes, that was the house Bob. Do you recall the title of our tenth album? "Album Number Ten". What were we thinking?
The robber stole the master tape. God knows what he would have thought, listening to it.
Pers, isn't there some football match tomorrow?
Oh yes, there's the footy match, and I have a spare ticket as at 6pm Thursday.
Although tickets are seeling via scalpers at about $250, I'm prepared to offer the ticket for free if the reipient is prepared to line up at the coffee stall at half-time and get me a coffee while I go out and have a cigarette.
'Album Number Ten' was titled as such to remind our fan just how far we'd come.
Ok, this is way off topic, but you guys totally need to know that one of my students is on Australia's Got Talent tonight.
I'll let the fact he hasn't been in my English class lately slide because when he says he wasn't there because he was on telly it's actually true this time.
Please don't make me watch it EMS.
You don't have to. I did it for you. But only so I can hang shit on him in class tomorrow.
Do you want the SMS number so you can vote for him?
He's actually pretty good with the old diablo. I taught him all I know*.
*Probably not about diablo or anything else involving some kind of coordination. And as it happens, I haven't been able to teach him all I know about Shakespeare because he's been away on tv and not in class.
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