Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A generation of swine

There’s a lot of people who should know better (and I’m looking at you, Senator Bob Brown) who have been running around like headless chickens*, panicking about swine ‘flu.

Spare me.

It can be nasty, sure, and at the moment it appears to be moving from human to human but it’s not even officially in Australia yet and it’s not even within a bull’s roar of the Spanish ‘flu pandemic of 1918-1919 which killed an estimated 20 million people world wide.

To explain.

The swine ‘flu virus appears to be part on the “influenza A” strain and can be passed from human to human by coughing or sneezing or a person picking up the virus on their fingers and touching their mouth or nose. The good news it can be treated quite easily if caught early enough by prescribing an anti-viral like “Tamiflu”

Anti-virals can also be prescribed for those in close contact with the infected person as a prophylactic**, such as medical staff or family. The problem with developing an effective vaccine against swine ‘flu arises from that fact that the virus has to be isolated and developed in a vaccine form and this can take some months.

The other issue is that identifying who has swine ‘flu is a complicated process. People with ‘flu-like symptoms (ie. coughs, sneezes) who have visited areas affected by swine flu have a nose and mouth swab, which is then taken for testing for “influenza A”. If the test for “influenza A” is negative, then on yer bike.

However, if the person is positive for “influenza A” then further, more detailed testing is needed to see if it is in fact swine ‘flu and that can take some time.

The good news is that increased exposure to a range of milder ‘flu strains will probably make a deadly pandemic less, rather than more, likely. And there’s no need to wear those stupid masks, which are a terrible fashion faux pas.

The other good news is that we can now say “swine” on a regular basis in public discourse.

Fuck, I love saying “swine”.

*You note I don’t say “carrying on like a pork chop” as that would obviously be in poor taste.

**Oh, stop sniggering!

32 comments:

Boogeyman said...

who have been running around like headless chickensThey should have set their minds on cruise control.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the pork.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Big fan of NZ music, are you Boogey?

Perseus said...

Headless Chickens, 1992, Kardomah Bar, Sydney.... BEST gig I've ever been to. It was the launch of the 'Gaskrankinstation' single...

'Swine' is a great word, particularly when said in a Noel Ferrier accent.

Bird flu, mad cow, swine flu... it will be the Owl Flu that will kill us all.

Perseus said...

Maybe it was '94.

Boogeyman said...

I dabble a little, herr Ramon.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Other words that should make a comeback.

"Nabob",

"Oleaginous",

"Stroll".

squib said...

snood

laudanum

pantaloons

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I could do with some laudanum right now.

Lewd Bob said...

China and Russia have banned the importation of Mexican pork. Given that viruses are airborne, and not contained within the flesh, I'd say that's a little rash.

Which, along with the coughing and sneezing, leads me to believe I have swine flu.

It's nice coming on after Boogey. He warms up the crowd nicely.

Lewd Bob said...

I just opened the window and influenza.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's the little rash they're worried about, Bob.

I'm having roast pork for dinner tonight.

Perseus said...

I'd ham it up too if you lot weren't so highbrow.

Perseus said...

Oh, and, my words I want to re-surface:

"Trollop"

"Tart"

"Tea" (as opposed to 'dinner')

"Yonks"

"Kinsmen"

and finally,

"Book" (as opposed to 'text' - at the rate we're going, in 25 years Readings will be a Textshop.)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

First time this site has been called "highbrow".

Boogeyman said...

I got the joke, Lewd Bob.

You really know how to bring home the bacon.

Pepsi said...

That would be the Kardomah Cafe Pers, up in the cross.

Read some Jewish Group has decided to call it Mexican Flu cause they "feel" that calling it Swine flu may offend.

Feck'n heck, maybe Adolph was on to something (?)

Some quack prescribed me Tamiflu last year for a pilgrim induced flu like illness, $50 for 6 pills and it still took me 6 weeks to get over it.

I must ring my broker and tell them to buy me some shares in the International F. Hoffmann-La Roche Group.

Perseus said...

"Feck'n heck, maybe Adolph was on to something (?)"

Explain.

Quickly.

Desci said...

1. It is a great shame of mine that I was too young to see in concert both the Headless Chickens and Frente's first run. Though I loved them both.

2. When I was in China, people with colds would wear those masks - just as a courteous gesture to hide their snotty noses and sneezing from view. On Monday I was on a tram and a woman sneezed on her newspaper. Twice. China's awesome*.

* well, many bits of it.

Lewd Bob said...

Thanks Boogey, I didn't want you to hog the attention.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Anti-Semetic comments will not be tolerated here.

Pepsi said...

Quick - yes sir.

As in Hitler??

He kinda murdered a shed load of Jews for religious/cultural reasons didnt he.

It sounds like theres a group of 'em, the "Swine Flu name will offend us, lets call it Mexican Flu" types that shoud be exterminated just for plain stupidity.

Mind, I dont have anything against Jews, just stupid people.

I would advocate the extermination of stupid people - regardless of race, religion or culture.

Boogeyman said...

No worries Lewd - it wouldn't be kosher.

Pepsi, that's pretty weak. A comment like "maybe Adolph was onto something" could only be interpreted as an attack on all Jews, not specifically the stupid ones that offend you.

Pepsi said...

On to something, but lost in implementation.

Weak? Whatever, they're just words. If you leap into a certain interpretation, thats up to you.

Does that mean we have to "fight" now?

Should I get my gloves out?

I'm a little tired today though, so I dont think my fighting would be any good, especially against a pro like your good self.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

they're just words

Words have meaning, Pepsi.

That's why I write on this blog.

catlick said...

"I would advocate the extermination of stupid people - regardless of race, religion or culture."Slippery slope Perseus.

patchouligirl said...

That wasn't Perseus that said that. This is Pepsis' hole.

catlick said...

My bad. Mea culpa. Perseus I grovel in apologetic rictus. Mea maximus culpa.

Puss In Boots said...

The only English-language channel I get over here is CNN. All that's been on for the last two days is swine 'flu. I am so fucking sick of hearing about it. But I guess, since 40 Americans have been affected, CNN thinks it's the end of the world. When you think about how a normal 'flu strain kills tens of thousands of people each year, and this one has killed about 20 (confirmed cases), I really do think people are overreacting somewhat.

homesick said...

If only it were just CNN over here. Try ABC, NBC,CBS and BBC World news... all successfully adding to the increasing panic.

Living in the US's back yard,, so to speak we are considered "at risk" due to the daily arrival of Seppo & Pom- packed cruise ships. All year 'round we are subjected to all matter of coughs, colds & flus brought onto the island. Unlike the greatest island we are very very small and it doesn't take long for it to infect a large proportion of the community.

A flu is a flu.. problem here is if anyone does contract this swine flu we will not have the vaccine at hand. My normally logical and rational spouse is starting to go all New Idea/Oprah on me and is panicking about our trip home to Australia in July via LA (or Northern Tijuana).

Can I suggest we appoint Ramon as the TSFKA Surgeon General/Health Minister? He calms me in these pandemics times.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Can I suggest we appoint Ramon as the TSFKA Surgeon General/Health Minister?

Do I get to wear the hat?

wari lasi said...

I got here too late for the word games! Travelling yesterday.

I'd say that's a little rash

As opposed to rasher?

Oh God.

And I'm not going anywhere near the Adolph shit.

catlick said...

"Mea maximus culpa" I don't want young children picking up bad habits, so I'll correct my grammar. Mea maxima culpa.