Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Midweek Mad Geniuses: Vincent Van Gogh
It’s a lovely day here today, except some stupid fuck called me ‘Van Goff’ as I strode through the park picking tulips. So I punched her in the head. Her teacher came running out of the schoolyard to remonstrate but I cleverly pretended to be a squirrel and she eventually left me alone. At least the little shit didn’t call me ‘Van Go’. That’s even worse.
Oh the anguish of being alive!
I’m working on a new painting. It’s got a lot to do with flowers (see attached jpeg). However I’m pretty much down to yellow. Can you send me some more paint?
You idiot. This is the last time I send you paint. Why don’t you just buy some, you cheap bastard?
Hey! Guess what? That arsehole Don MacLean wrote a song about you.
Tell that fucking midget Toulouse Lautrec he stills owes me fifty guilders.
I heard that song but assumed it was about the Big Bopper.
On other matters, I have some terrible news. I got so bored listening to my girlfriend that I cut my ear off. Turns out it’s the hole in the side of your head, not the flap of skin, that does the listening. Annoying. I also discovered my girlfriend is a prostitute. I guess that explains why she wants me to pay every time we have sex.
Thanks for the paints. Can you remind me again how to make green?