Friday, April 16, 2010

For Cath.

It might be fun to have a kid that I could kick around
A little me to fill up with my thoughts
A little me or he or she to fill up with my dreams
A way of saying life is not a loss

I'd keep the tyke away from school and tutor him myself
Keep him from the poison of the crowd
But then again pristine isolation might not be the best idea
It's not good trying to immortalize yourself

Beginning of a great adventure
Beginning of a great adventure

Why stop at one, I might have ten, a regular TV brood
I'd breed a little liberal army in the wood
Just like these redneck lunatics I see at the local bar
With their tribe of mutant inbred piglets with cloven hooves

I'd teach 'em how to plant a bomb, start a fire, play guitar
And if they catch a hunter, shoot him in the nuts
I'd try to be as progressive as I could possibly be
As long as I don't have to try too much

Beginning of a great adventure
Beginning of a great adventure

Susie, Jesus, Bogart, Sam, Leslie, Jill and Jeff
Rita, Winny, Andy, Fran and Jet
Boris, Bono, Lucy, Ethel, Bunny, Reg and Tom
That's a lot of names to try not to forget

Carrie, Marlon, Mo and Steve, La Rue and Jerry Lee
Eggplant, Rufus, Dummy, Star and The Glob
I'd need a damn computer to keep track of all these names
I hope this baby thing don't go too far

I hope it's true what my wife said to me
I hope it's true what my wife said to me, hey
I hope it's true what my wife said to me

She says, “baby, it's the beginning of a great adventure,
babe, beginning of a great adventure”
Take a look

It might be fun to have a kid that I could kick around
Create in my own image like a god
I'd raise my own pallbearers to carry me to my grave
And keep me company when I'm a wizened toothless clod

Some gibbering old fool sitting all alone drooling on his shirt
Some senile old fart playing in the dirt
It might be fun to have a kid I could pass something on to
Something better than rage, pain, anger and hurt

I hope it's true what my wife said to me
I hope it's true what my wife said to me
I hope it's true what my wife said to me
She says, “Lou, it's the beginning of a great adventure”
“Lou, Lou, Lou, beginning of a great adventure”
She says, “babe, how you call your lover boy”
Sylvia, how do you call your lover man.

It’s all true, of course. Having a kid is the beginning of a great adventure.

And the lines

I'd try to be as progressive as I could possibly be
As long as I don't have to try too much

pretty much sums up my parenting philosophy.

9 comments:

Cath said...

Ramon, if I was an emotional sort of pregnant woman, this poem would have certainly sent me into some sort of blithering mess of maternal tears and angst.

In a great show of timing, I actually succumbed to my first maternal urge and bought a baby outfit last night, in the ridiculously small size of "00000". Frick it is cute.

Thank you!

WitchOne said...

A poem I read all the way through. Fantastic. I do love the way it points out the worst of society, human nature and old age, without being too pointy fingered. Still it also manages to have some good points without being too wordy and belabouring the point.

I like that!

WitchOne said...

Cath, wait til you have to put a nappy on a newborn, the newborn nappies are still massive on those tiny little bottoms.

Lewd Bob said...

Ramon, I suspect we've agreed on the brilliance of this whole album in the past. Perseus, too, I know, is a fan.

My personal favourite is Sick of You.

Great choice.

patchouligirl said...

Maybe it was the pethadine, maybe it was the long labour, the longer pregnancy or the 40 years I lived before I had my son, when I was in the operating theatre and he was finally born I wasn't expecting to be looking at his face so suddenly. "Oh my God" I said. Good luck Cath - hope you're ready!

Dr. Golf said...

Bit too long

Mad Cat Lady said...

Sorry it's taken me so long to read this one :) - it's cool.

My eldest sister had her first baby end of December. I'd hoped she would stop talking about her nipples by now, but the kid is getting her first tooth, so there is no end in sight.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The fun never stops in the MCL family.

Mad Cat Lady said...

Sometimes we even cut loose and eat together.