Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Historic hottie


Well, I've been sitting back as Perseus, Squib and Bob have been banging away with posts comparing various hotties, beardies and hot water bottles and I'm thinking "bugger me, I could be a part of this action".

I therefore propose this challenge.

Anybody who can identify this long-dead lovely will receieve, from me,...umm.

Err.

*Checks desk to see what crap I can unload worthy prize I can bestow on a worthy TSFKA reader*

Right so.

Anybody who can identify this long-dead lovely will receieve a book about vampires somebody gave me and which I don't particularly like.

To be fair to Squib, you have 24 hours.

No cheating.

68 comments:

Samantha said...

Is right hand mouse clicking on the picture to view the properties cheating?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Yes.

Perseus said...

Your mother.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

My mum's still alive, Pers.

So, no,

squib said...

Miles Franklin?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Nice try, Squib.

But no.

squib said...

Before I guess again, can I just check that the prize is NOT a Stephanie Meyer book?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's NOT a Stephanie Meyer book, no.

squib said...

This is really annoying me

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

What, you're annoyed it's not a Stephanie Meyer book?

Lewd Bob said...

For some strange reason, almost like fate, the name Edith Wharton sprang to mind as soon as I saw that picture. However I googled her (yes, that's cheating, but don't worry, I'm no closer to the answer) and Wharton is as plain as the whart at the end of my nose.

So, my contribution is it's not Edith Wharton.

MrsK said...

Alexandra Kollantai.


And I don't think I want a vampire book...

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Well done, Mrs K.

May I ask what gave it away?

And I don't think I want a vampire book

I could pass on the Perseus Q tea-towel but it's a bit worn by now.

Perseus said...

We should just keep passing on the tea-towel as a perrenial trophy, used or not.

Perseus said...

On and also... OF COURSE! Alexandra Kollontai! How did I miss that? I feel soooo stupid.

Reminds me of that scene in The Young Ones when they were playing 'Botticelli':

VYVYAN: If we give up, can we stop playing this stupid boring game?

RICK: Of course you can.

VYVYAN & MIKE: [together] We give up.

RICK: And I'm the winner and I'm the best person in the house?

VYVYAN & MIKE: [together] Yes!

RICK: Fine, I'll tell you then. I was Paul... Squires!

VYVYAN & MIKE: [together] Who?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Do you want the Perseus tea-towel, Mrs K?

It's got a picture of a lobster on it.

I would have thought it was pretty obvious, Pers.

Perseus said...

Well, I guess I'm a bit hazy on my knowledge of the various descendents of Prince Dovmont of Lithuania, and likewise, I haven't yet fully memorised all the winners of the Knights Grand Cross of the Royal Norwegian Order of St. Olav.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Do you want a present for your 40th or don't you?

Samantha said...

when a previous boss turned 30, we put together a 'turning 30 survival pack' made up of things like incontenance pads, hair dye and herbal remedies for menopause (and alcohol of course)

i wonder what one should put in for a turning 40 survivial kit?

homesick said...

That'd be a nice theme for a new thread...

"What would you put in Perseus Turning 40 survival pack?"

eat my shorts said...

Not beer, apparently.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

What would you put in Perseus Turning 40 survival pack?

A fertile Goth chick.

Boogeyman said...

A fertile Goth chick.

He had one of those in his house already, and still stuffed it up.

Perseus said...

I've had three fertile goths in my house this year.

1. Desci, and we all know what she thinks of breeding.

2. The Mermaid, who is 19.

3. Andromeda 3.4, a drunk, who I dumped for Ponygirl.

That's not stuffing up. Then again, I probably would stuff it up anyway, but that's not the point.

For my 40th party, there will be about six or seven single women. There will be about eight or nine single men. I think because it's my party, I should get a free pass of some sort, even if the other guys are more handsome.

squib said...

Nice try, Squib


A day later, Squib realises Ramon was being sarcastic

Samantha said...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0ZCTxQK4oqc/SkFx6BmpbnI/AAAAAAAAA44/aDqRMBVn2QE/s400/Free+Pass.JPG

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

No, no Squib.

I thought it was a good guess, she did look a lot like a young Miles Franklin.

Now I must resume my mocking of Pers over his appalling lack of knowledge of dead Russian Marxists.

Perseus said...

Samantha: "Witter"?

Samantha said...

ya like wot dos people who are like funny an' stuff

*slinks away shamed by her shitty proofreading*

Perseus said...

I thought it might have been 'whiter'. You've all seen me nude. Nobody is whiter than me. "Sunlight". Pft.

There's a 50/50 chance that a girl called Dutch Nerd will be coming. She is beautiful, and just split up with her boyfriend last week - after two years. REBOUND! For any TSFKAers coming to my bash, your job will be to lie through your teeth and let her know how wonderful I am.

Boogeyman said...

For my 40th party, there will be about six or seven single women. There will be about eight or nine single men. I think because it's my party, I should get a free pass of some sort, even if the other guys are more handsome.

Wouldn't it be better to maximise your chances by inviting more women than men?

Or are you expecting some of the men to hook up with each other and leave some women left over for you?

Or are you all just going to throw your keys into a big bowl and hope you don't get the guy with the big V8 Commodore Ute parked outside?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I might turn up after RockWiz is over.

I can lie very convincingly - especially after a few beers.

Perseus said...

Ooh - Dutch Nerd has confirmed, claining she will be there 'with bells on'. I hope to jingle those bells.

Boogeyman: I invited friends, but it just happens that virtually all my friends, male or female, are in relationships.

Of the single women coming...

Miss Artist - my sometimes lover, and default target if all else fails, and if she hasn't picked up herself.

Dutch Nerd: Out of my league unless Ramon's PR skills are magical.

Hippy Chick - Miss Artist's nemesis and enemy, so can't go there.

The Mermaid: 19.

My sister:...

My niece:...

Maltezer: Not attracted to her.



Then, not confirmed coming:

Andromeda 3.4: My ex.

E-bird: Has already dumped me once.

It's slim pickings.

I told everyone to invite other people though, so there may be more single women who I haven't met yet.

Melba said...

I'm a terrible liar, especially after a few beers. And I'll lose track of all those chicks, unless I take a print-out.

Will Goth Girl be wearing the stockings? I remember the stockings well enough.

Boogeyman said...

Hippy Chick - Miss Artist's nemesis and enemy, so can't go there.

With Ramon's suberb PR skills, you might be able to convince Hippy Chick and Miss Artist to square off for some battle sex while you and Dutch Nerd adjudicate.

Perseus said...

If that happened Boogeyman, it would be the greatest night of my life.

Melba - I'll ask Mermaid to wear the stockings. It might be too cold though.

Melba said...

Was it too cold in Lorne a couple of weeks ago? I think not.

squib said...

Talking of cold, when are you taking a dip in the tropical waters that gently lappeth the shores of your fair town?

Perseus said...

I have a potbelly in my kitchen that keeps it warm. By the way Melba, if you can't lie after drinking then you are not to go anywhere near Dutch Nerd. She does not need to know the truth.

Perseus said...

Squib - I'll be doing it when Miss Artist next visits, as she is going to take photos to prove I did it. I plan on posting the event here at TSFKA.

squib said...

I hope you don't have a heart attack or something because that would embarrass me no end

Melba said...

I won't go near anyone, I told you that. I will be skulking in the shadows at some wall, or dancing embarrassingly. I don't talk to people. I'm shit at small talk. I was just joking, I can do some good lying when I put my mind to it, even after drinking.

Perseus said...

Can I hide in the corner with you?

Lewd Bob will be hosting TSFKAers anyway. In a corner.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Miss Artist: "Pers, who are all those weirdos huddled in the corner?"

Pers: "Oh...err...they're gate crashers."

Miss Artist" But they're waving at you and giggling"

Pers: "They're very friendly gate crashers."

Angie66 said...

Sounds like it will be a Balkanized party. Fun!

I have two single friends looking for love. They're 41 and 43, have two kids each, are gorgeous, love a party and live on the coast bewteen Lorne and Melbourne. Not sure I can get them to rock up at a complete stranger's party though. Shame.

Melba said...

Ok I'll find Bob. I know what the bottom half of his face looks like anyway. I hope he's good at small talk. Or dancing.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Melba, if there's a bloke there with Neil Young style sidies, a Triple R tee-shirt and a black leather jacket -

that would be me.

wari lasi said...

When's the party? I can be incredibly nondescript, even Desci won't notice I'm there. How far is it from Parkdale? My brother lives there and I'll probably stay with him.

Perseus said...

You're gunna fly from New Guinea on Saturday? To come to a party in a pub where I will be the worst host ever?

Perseus said...

Oh and Angie, thank you, but I'm 40 and have no children, and am looking for someone in their 30s with no children and who wants them. Besides, I'm scared that 'on the coast between Lorne and Melbourne' could mean Geelong. They're another species.

Melba said...

Thought you got rid of the sideburns, Ramon. WERE YOU LYING?

wari lasi said...

I didn't relaise it was this weekend, but I've done sillier things, trust me. But I was down last weekend for my eldest daughter's year 12 formal. Just to be a shit I've emailed you a couple of photos. Men and their daughters, sickening stuff.

They keep advertising the Cumberland Hotel in the papers here, I may have to make a trip to do due diligence for a landowner company at some stage.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

They've grown back.

I have quick hair.

Cath said...

Will there be a sign for TSFKA's at the Party Pers? I will need direction - unless I just look for the really pasty white nerdy looking people. And I think name badges with pseudonyms are in order. I only know of people via there name's on here. You don't exist in the real world!!

Angie66 said...

But isn't that narrowing possibilites? I understand what you're after but "brood mare" keeps popping into my mind when I read that. Not your fault and I know that's selling you short. I hope it happens for you, but stepfathering can be great too. Just in case.


Anyhow, that's neither here nor there...the important thing is that they are not in Geelong. One's in Werribee South (really, not as bad as it sounds once you acclimatise to the shit farm next door, and nowhere near as bad as Werribee 'proper') and Torquay. You are wise to be wary though.

Perseus said...

Cath: The sign will read, 'The Corner Formally Know As'

Angie: I didn't even know Werribee South existed until Melba did a whole post on it. It's apparently a naked gay beat.

Melba said...

If stepfathering is anything like stepmothering, it's shit.

Sorry Angie, but it is.

Melba said...

No, that was a part of Campbell's Cove, Perseus. Sheesh.Werribee South was delightful. It reminds me of Queenscliff(e). With a fab milk bar.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I might have something to say about Turnbull tomorrow.

For those who can't wait - here is a precis;





He's fucked.

Cath said...

He's fucked.


Thank you Ramon! I come to TSFKA for the witty and insightful political commentary.

Lewd Bob said...

Perseus. Who's hosting the TSFKA breakaway group? Me? You gotta be shitting me. I don't do small talk either. It's not that I can't (oh, I can't) but it's that I don't.

Here's what I plan to do:

Turn up, mutter a reluctant happy birthday at you, begrudgingly thrust Melba's book at her, avoid contact with acquaintances who don't want to talk to me either, and take a seat by the bar where beer remains just a nod away.

Perseus said...

Bob. Look, I'm in charge of making sure my crazy nephew doesn't stab anyone. That's a full time role. So I need team leaders to host 'cells' of friends. I hereby appoint you as Captain of the TSFKA cell, and I suggest you assemble them near to the bar where you can all get graudually plastered. Meet you there once my nephew has exited (I told family they have to leave at midnight).

WitchOne said...

I've not read all the comments as I can't get past not being invited to Pers' 40th.

Fuck it.

Life is not worth living.

And so on.

Seriously, we're not invited?? Are you joking??

Devastated. Someone else give me their unwanted invitation and I care less how that sounds but I do need the (correct) address and (correct) date and time.

Bastards.

Perseus said...

Witchy. Email me.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pers' 40th is looking like Truman Capote's famous Black and White Ball.

You're nobody if you haven't got an invitation.

Do you hear me!

NOBODY!!

homesick said...

Oh well I only make it to Brisbane on Tuesday morning but my thoughts will be with you on Saturday Pers.

I certainly hope that you will post a couple of photos from the evening for us long distance TSFKAers.

Good luck with the Dutch Nerd.

Fad MD said...

You're nobody if you haven't got an invitation.

Do you hear me!

NOBODY!!


I think this is the appropriate time for me to use an emoticon

:"-(

shitbmxrider said...

Im a nobody....the way I like it..

From past expericence, probably best to figure out wheather to use your screen names to introduce your, or ask if a particular person is infact them...

Some people don't like that, then write blog posts about it a few weeks later