Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Weekend Sports Wrap

Soccer

Australia made the World Cup finals for the second time in a row, and only the third time ever. Unlike the last two times, we were expected to make it this time 'round, now that FIFA, the world governing body of soccer correctly located us in Asia as opposed to somewhere in the South American vicinity. Our tee-totalling Dutch coach Pim Verbeek is to be now known as 'Aussie Pim'. Can't wait for the World Cup. Can't wait for the spectacle, the thrill, the sleepless nights and the inevitable depression when we're kicked out, but hopefully not by a cheatin' divin' Itie this time.

Cricket

Only three days in, we're already eliminated from the world Twenty20 championship. Brett Lee and Michael Hussey were both shithouse, and yet again on TSFKA I call for their sacking from the Ashes team. Meanwhile, Andrew Symonds didn't even play because he broke team rules by having a beer and not telling anyone he was having a beer... after-hours. He said today that he 'didn't fit in'. On the one hand, if you want to be an elite sportsman getting paid millions of dollars, maybe a reliabce on 'having a beer' every night is not such a good thing, but on the other hand, 'having a beer after-hours without telling anyone' should not really be a sackable offence. If it were that, Ramon and Lewd Bob would be unemployable. But really, when all is said and done, it was only Twenty20, and who gives a fuck?

Footy

My team Richmond lost again. We've won two out 11 matches and sit second last on the ladder in this, the fifth year of Terry Wallace's 'five year plan' to make us successful. Unlike the USSR though, Richmond get rid of failed despots pretty quickly, and Wallace coached his last game on the weekend and now some 12 year old called 'Jade' is coaching us. It's hardly a coaches name. In recent history we've had Terry, Robert, Tony, Tommy, Kevin, John and Spud. Now we have 'Jade'. God help us, but if he selects the team by blindfolding himself and throwing darts at players' names on the wall, and his tactic is to 'get the ball and kick it towards the goals' he'll do better than Wallace anyway.

Cycling

Tour de France is less than a month away. Cannot. Wait. I love the scenery, the SBS commentary with hardly any ads, the drug scandals and the bosomy models handing over the champagne to the winner each and every day. For those who've never watched a whole race, I highly recommend staying up one night and watching one in its entirety. It's little wonder they take steroids. I couldn't even walk up some of those hills.

Power Reading

Just like the Australian cricket team, I failed at my attempt to read 'War & Peace' in 48 hours, but only because another sport interrupted my progress - 'Power Drinking With Hot Chick', at which I excelled, but two days later, I think I am still hungover.

20 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm unemployable anyway.

Does your failure to read 'War & Peace' in 48 hours mean you've lost Desci's respect.

Perseus said...

Only temporarily, because if she goes to my blog and sees the photo of goth chick I drank with, she will understand my predicament. I hope.

Boogeyman said...

Perseus, I think that you underestimate Desci. Any respect you gain with her for power-drinking with a Goth chick will be negated by failing to score with said chick.

Melba said...

Soccer - don't care.

Cricket - don't care.

Footy - don't care much.

Tour - CARE. We have an annual Tour de France meal with my sister and her husband, where we try and impress each other with hosting a French meal, and get terribly posh and up ourselves. Last year my bro-in-law failed miserably with a rabbit fricasee (don't mention the rabbit!)

Power reading - always, always love the reading. Just finished On Chesil Beach for a second time. It's a nove that borders on perfection.

Melba said...

LLLLLLLLL

Desci said...

Yep, if anything it made me love him more. Those stockings were effing HOTT.

Pers, teach me your hot goth chick-attracting ways, god damn you.

Perseus said...

She's nineteen, Boogey. Nineteen. I have some standards. Besides, she's at my house a lot, and she offers plenty of leg and cleavage to admire and that kinda does me.

Desci, to attract hot goth chicks to you house you have to

a) Invite hot goth chicks to your house

b) Have red wine and cigarettes in stock.

That is all.

Lewd Bob said...

I'm quite unemployable with or without the beer. That's why I employ myself. Nobody else would have me, what with my non-existent work ethic.

I second the call for the sacking of Lee and Hussey. And I'll preempt Ramon by calling for Ponting's head too. Just because.

Looking forward also to world cup.

I read War & Peace a few years back. Fuck it was GREAT. But it took me about as long to read it as Tolstoy took to write it.

Pepsi said...

And the Wallabies had a pleasant Saturday night too.

Twenty20 is irrelevant.

Pontings head on a platter would please me enormously.

Desci said...

Pers, step b) is done, and even if I pulled off setp a), you know I'd only fuck it up.

Sigh.

wari lasi said...

But it took me about as long to read it as Tolstoy took to write it.

I concur Bob, it is indeed a challenge, but at least it's worth it. Anna Karenin (let's not have a debate about whether it should have an "a" at the end) however was not. (Stop reading now if you actually want to read it and haven't done so yet)







The bitch kills herself. Fuck, if it wasn't a "classic" I would have thrown it in the bin.

Perseus said...

What are the Wallabies, Pepsi? Is that the netball team?

Pepsi said...

slaps head and groans

Oh dear me Pers, I've even seen them play a number of times at Telstra Dome or whatever they're calling the Docklands thingy these days.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm reserving my opinio re Ponting until the first match of The Ashes.

I was covered in ice on my way home from the station.

Fuck, it's cold here!

Lewd Bob said...

Wari, Anna Karenin(a) is my favourite book. Levin's search for the meaning of life is truly wonderful.

Ramon, embrace the bracing cold.

wari lasi said...

Ok Bob. It's a great piece of literature, but depressing. I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

What do you think of Foucault's Pendulum? The Umberto Eco book , not the actual pendulum. I may have mentioned it years ago, but it makes me feel illiterate. I've tried to read it twice and given up.

Perseus, who do you like in the footy this weekend? I'm actually going to tip Richmond, but it's the toughest round so far this year to tip. I reckon Carlton could even have a go at St Kilda.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Levin was a sanctimonious cunt.

eat my shorts said...

What do you think of Foucault's Pendulum? The Umberto Eco book , not the actual pendulum. I may have mentioned it years ago, but it makes me feel illiterate. I've tried to read it twice and given up.

Yeah, Eco does that, doesn't he? I bought 'The Island of the Day Before' when I was still in high school because the cover was pretty and the blurb made the story sound interesting. Know when I finally finished it? A couple of years ago. I started it and started it again about six times in between, but I'm glad I stuck with it because it was a really good story.

In fact, you've inspired me to re-read it. Cheers, dude.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

but if he selects the team by blindfolding himself and throwing darts at players' names on the wall, and his tactic is to 'get the ball and kick it towards the goals' he'll do better than Wallace anyway.

Seems to be working so far.

Perseus said...

GO TIGES! According to 'Jade the Blade', it's the start of a 'new season', therefore, I claim we are thus far unbeaten.