Monday, June 29, 2009

Yes, The Cake Was Awesome...

The Scupltress, who baked the cake, said, "It's all edible, even the sails. Oh, but not the pins. Watch out for them."

Some points.

* I spent three or so hours in a mild panic thinking that I had insulted Lewd Bob and/or his Missus. See, they turned up at the same time as about 15 other people, and I was opening presents and stuff, and I hadn't had a sip of a drink and in desperation I yelled out to Lewd Bob, "Can you please get me wine," and he gave me this strange look and was never seen or heard from again for the night. I discovered the next day there was a medical issue, which is no good, but until I got really really drunk, all I was concerned with was what I did to insult them.

* Of the bloggersphere, I had Kitten Wrangler and Chewy Justice (from the old TSSH gang), Desci and her fella, Melba and her fella, Cath and Mr. Subtle and thank god, they were all very patient with me making cameos at their table and then running off again. My sister badgered them for a bit. My sister is odd. I hope she didn't scare them. Julia Zemiro must have been in fine form on RockWiz cos Ramon failed to arrive.

* I told my niece to take photos of everyone. She took that literally, and took photos of everyone at the pub. There were over 40 photos of people I didn't know, and yet Dutch Nerd, Miss Artist and about ten other dear friends were not in any photo.

* Dutch Nerd was one of the girls I aimed to pickup. As mentioned last week, she had just split up and I was looking for some rebound action. She gave me a present with a card and the first line of the card said, "I want to instigate a love affair with you..." and I nearly fainted, but the sentence ended with, "...and Terry Pratchett." The present was a Pratchett book. I was about to start flirting but then, the guy she just split up with turned up (he's also in the extended group of friends) and they had some sort of tiff and she ended up leaving at 12 and so did he.

* One other girl I really like who is my ex Boss's daughter also planned to come, but ex Boss got dumped by his wife earlier in the week and so he didn't come, and nor did she because of turmoil in the family. The good news of her not coming is that she rang and suggested we go out next weekend, one on one. Fucking ace.

* Speaking of which, there were probably 20-30 people that didn't come. Some overseas, some ill, some don't like pubs and late nights... all of them have insisted on another social event with me. It's become a 40th Festival that will last for a month. So much for hating birthdays.

* Pub shut at 1pm. With the Mermaid heading the way, about 15 of us arrived at some night club. We made Mermaid coordinate with the door staff the entry of a large pack of middle-aged people, because she's hot. We all got in except one - my one hippy mate, who was the only sober one amongst us. They had a strict no-hippy rule. I even tried to bribe the doorguy $50 but no go. So we all left the place immediately and went to some other bar.

* That's when the pills kicked in. The rest is a blur. I do remember one mate proudly revealing his birthday present to be a gram of coke, but I just couldn't do it, so I made him give the coke to some of the chicks in our gang (including Mermaid) which he was happy to do. We ended up at some guy's house at 5am, and at 5.30am, I was sitting on a couch with Miss Artist, and we both agreed that we were too smashed to do anything, so I got in a taxi and went back to my hotel room alone.

* Went to the footy the next day to watch Richmond get SMASHED. Life is now back to normal, other than I got my new car. It's black.


Ramon Insertnamehere said...

There was cake AND coke?

Double bugger.

I was a bit cranky because RockWiz advertised Paul Kelly and we got Sean Kelly.

But Julia was in fine form.

Cath said...

Lame excuse Ramon..... Your patient blogging world friends carried on without you Pers. Although when your sister asked Melba how she knew you.... I got worried she might ask me next. "Um, well, I sort of know him via teh know....". Awkward!

Anonymous said...

Centrebet was offering 25:1 odds that you'd pick up at your party. They really know their stuff.

Also, surely Lewd Bob is used to the temperamental rock star thing by now.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Cath, let me add;

*It was cold.

*I was already drunk.

*I can't bare the look of disappointment on people's faces when they meet me for the first time.

Lewd Bob said...

I had to rush off with no warning because my wife suffers from terrible migraines and developed one the moment I started leaning on the bar ordering my first beer. Getting back to Perseus in his dank, dark corner would've wasted too much time, as we need to get to the drugs fast.

I recall the wine incident differently, and at that stage, I hadn't touched a drop. I handed Perseus his present, he pointed to a nearby glass of red wine and said "do you want that?". I cringed, cos who knew where it had come from, declined, patted Perseus's band's guitarist on the back, and headed to the bar, where medical condition arose. That was my night.

Melba, I hope you got the book.

Melba said...

I did indeed get the book, so thanks Bob. It was a fun night, and I just wanted to hug Desci continually. I think I kissed her about three times. And I lied successfully to Perseus' sister about how I knew him.

Perseus said...

I cringed, cos who knew where it had come from, declined,

Suddenly everything becomes clear. See, when I asked you to get me a wine (which you misheard as 'do you want this wine'), you made that cringe face, I never saw you again, and figured you had taken my request most offensively, which then made me tense for hours until the alcohol finally won over.

Cath said...

Melba.. .You were VERY convincing!

Perseus said...

What did you tell her Melba? Because the next day, going through photos, my mum asked who you were and I said, "A friend through work..." Do our stories match up?

By the way Ramon: Sean Kelly is cooler than Paul Kelly. That's a win as far as I'm concerned. That 'I Hear Motion' opening keyboard riff is better than anything Paul Kelly has ever done.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Probably just as well as I didn't come, then.

Them's fightin words.

But it was an ace RockWiz tho'.

Melba said...

Yeah, I said it was through work. I can't remember exactly what I said.

Fuck. All photos - ALL PHOTOS - of me are shit. I knew it was being taken though, and did a stupid grin. That unsettles me, that your mother asked who I was.

We had a good chat with your sis. She was fine. I was careful not to go anywhere near the topic of children though.

Samantha said...

I was kind of hoping somebody would give him one of those lifelike baby dolls, that poo and eat, as a present.

With eyeliner and a black nappy, of course.

Desci said...

Sorry about leaving so early; I can't believe I missed the drugs. But Screamfeeder were fucking amazing, so there's that.

It was lovely meeting everyone, I'll use it to feed my content-starved blog some time later today or tomorrow.

Also, Boyfriend and I are negotiating dates to foister ourselves upon your kind hospitality sometime in July/Aug.

squib said...

I'm glad you had an ace time. Of course, I wasn't even invited but that's okay
because I'm used to it

eat my shorts said...

Dutch Nerd was one of the girls I aimed to pickup. As mentioned last week, she had just split up and I was looking for some rebound action.

It's a pity the rebounder didn't rebound on the night, old chap.

But it sounds like you've got something else on the boil with the ex Boss's daughter so you've got to be happy with that, eh?

Was it chocolate cake?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Never mind Squib.

You can come to The Boy's sixth birthday next year.

Our parties include a secret "parents' area" where invitees are supplied with strong drink.

Lewd Bob said...

Double strength raspberry cordial, Ramon?

squib said...

Sounds excellent, Ramon

I'm just going to give the grown-ups vegetable soup come this Sunday cos I don't want them tucking into my

Melba said...

Yeah, I'm sure they won't notice, squib, that it's soup and not one of the finest Scotches in the world.

squib said...

Melba, are you saying my soup is not that good? Hmmm?

Melba said...

Not at all, squib. I'm sure it's very fine soup, using only the best single-malt vegetables.

Kitten Wrangler said...

That was some damn fine cake. I had a slice of cake, and two smokes, and 24 hours later I was stomping around my kitchen demanding not more nicotine, but more cake.

If the cake was that addictive, I'm glad I didn't stick around for the hard drugs.

Sorry I was so sweaty, and thanks again for being that much older than me.

Fad MD said...

You can come to The Boy's sixth birthday next year.

Our parties include a secret "parents' area" where invitees are supplied with strong drink.

A secret area? That's the only thing that gets the parents along!

eat my shorts said...

And yet, no-one can tell me whether this cake of which you all rave was chocolate or not?

Inquiring minds must know!

Gah. Screw youse all. In my mind it was chocolate and that's all there is to that.

Melba said...

I can confirm it was chocolate.

eat my shorts said...

Yeh, I know. I just said it was.

(On the inside? Because, that's where it counts.)