I really wasn’t going to write about the upheavals in Iran (largely because I know three quarters of fuck all of Persian history and culture) but the complete silence from certain sections of “the left” is starting to shit me.
Hundreds of thousands of people (possibly millions) have taken to the streets in cities across Iran to protest against what seems to be a deeply dodgy election result and are shot, baton charged and tear gassed for their pains – and the gatekeepers of the hard left say nothing.
Nothing.
Socialist Alliance – nothing.
Green Left Weekly – nothing.
In some way, I shouldn't be surprised. These fuck-knuckles have always been deeply uncertain about Iran, largely because they can’t blame the usual suspects (Zionists, the CIA, the military-industrial complex, the US, the “west”) and their typical reaction is to turn away and hum loudly when the Iranian government does something like beat members of Tehran’s bus drivers’ union and jail its leader (as happened last year).
Of course, it would all be different if these events were taking place in another country in the region starting with the letter "I" (and no, I don't mean Iraq).
But still, Iranians continue to take to the streets to demand democracy and human rights, despite the beatings, tear gas attacks and shootings.
I’ve been in quite a few demos that have got a bit excited, but I’ve never had some cunt try and shoot me.
Victory to the Iranian people.
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I don't know what these people are complaining about. Last time there was an election this fucked up, it was the 2000 US election and that turned out OK in the end.
I don't recall anyone being shot dead in 2000, Mr E.
Crikey are giving it pretty good coverage Ramon.
It is indeed a tragedy.
Do they not have enough oil for Team America to go charging in?
Salon is quite good, too.
From my limited understanding of Iranian electoral laws, it doesn;t really matter who you vote for because whoever the Ayatollah says wins, wins.
Fuck the left-wing activists and their silence.
And fuck the religious-right all around the world. Particularly the Islamic far-right.
And three cheers for Lebanon just by the by, who had actual open and fair electins recently and Hezbollah lost. So double-fuck the left-nuts for a) 'supporting' Hezbollah in the first place in their fight against Israel, and b) For not supporting mainstream, common, everyday, reasonable Lebanon from Day One.
Admit it Socialist Alliance, you were behind the wrong mob. Even Lebanon don't want Hezbollah, you cunts.
All candidates for the Iranian Parliament and Presidency are vetted by the unelected "Council of guardians" to make sure they adhere to the values of the Islamic Republic.
So I'd rule out a political career in Iran, if I were you Pers.
"Council of guardians" sounds like something from Gallifrey
Iran also has a "Supreme Leader", Squib.
Dalek or what!
Crikey had a groovy flow chart of the Iranian "democratic" process that basically showed everything starting and finishing with the Ayatollah, flowing through the "Council of Guardians". Why bother with the farce of having an election anyway? It's a religious dicatatorship.
Oops, superfluous a.
Well, the entire Iranian political system does seem to be devised by somebody who watched too much Doctor Who.
I'll tell you what has even dumber rules that the Iranian Electoral Council: Quidditch.
See, if you catch the golden snitch you get 150 points, and the game is over. Being that field goals are only worth ten points, and goals are very difficult to score, whoever catches the golden snitch pretty much wins (in fact, according to wiki, only two teams have not won after capturing the snitch since 1750.
That would be like playing the AFL grand final for four quarters, but with a minute to go throwing a chicken on to the field and whoever catches the chicken gets 15 goals.
So really, tactically, all you would have to do is defend your goals diligently, not bother with attack, and just make sure you have the best trained snitch catcher.
Do better next time JK Rowling. You too, Iran.
and whoever catches the chicken gets 15 goals.
Is that the Tiges new strategy?
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