Thursday, August 7, 2008

Let the ignoring of the Games commence!

Emperor Constantine I also failed to give a shit about the Games

Well, the Olympic Games are about to commence in Beijing and I can’t tell you how excited I am about the prospect of completely ignoring them.

Let’s see – do I have my “Fuck the Olympic Games” kit ready?

Crate of Coopers Ale stashed away in the shed – check.

Boxed collection of Futurama DVDs – check.

Three-volume history of the Byzantine Empire – check.

Looks like we’re ready to rock and roll.

Don’t imagine, however, I’m opposed to all aspects of the saturation coverage the Games will get – this is a golden time for the spin-doctoring community.

Kruddy could announce the creation of an Australian Soviet republic, the compulsory sterilisation of all conservative voters and invasion of New Zealand and the punters would say “yeah, yeah, whatever you say Kev. Does anybody know the results of the third heat in the high-diving?”

44 comments:

Desci said...

Just because something only happens every four years, and includes most countries, doesn't mean it's not very, very dull.

Boyfriend's in China at the moment, and says the heat and the smog's pretty awful.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

But it does give me a chance to watch all my Futurama DVDs again.

Are you pining for him already, Dess?

Perseus said...

Wowser.
I can't wait.
I couldn't give a shit about the opening ceremony, but from that point on, I love every second of it. I will be bug-eyed from hundreds of TV hours by the time it's all over... Though I am unique in that I don't care about the Australians as much as I'm supposed to. I just like seeing the best do their thing, no matter where they are from.

Boogeyman said...

Emperor Constantine's neck's looking a little rough. Typical - the face gets all the work but the neck reveals their age.

My kids have been learnign all about China and the Olympics at school, so no doubt they'll be bugging me to watch it.

They might be disappointed to find that their favourite activities, trampolining, playing Yugioh cards and beating each other up, are not Olympic events.

Perseus said...

Er, trampolining is part of the gymnastics program.

And 'beating each other up' is covered by boxing, wrestling and taekwondo.

Desci said...

Ramon, he's been gone since last Friday. I'm not pining, I'm aching.

Desci said...

Oh, also, If you haven't done so already, do it with the commentaries. They get funnier and funnier. DO IT.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Now if they had included cricket I may have been interested.

I do love the Futurama commentaries.

Puss In Boots said...

Ugh, sport. That is all I have to say.

squib said...

I'm only interested in the opening ceremony and the gymnastics

wari lasi said...

I thought Constantine was better known for stopping the persecution of the Christians. And Istanbul of course. I hadn't been previously aware of his stand on the 'lympics.

I'm with you Perseus, I love it when the games are on. I like how the swimming's first so we look really good in the medal count, until the athletics begin. And the track and field, where black people win everything. Oops, not PC to say that.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Wari, in the "spirit of the Olympic Games" (and aren't we all sick of that now), I may have made that bit up.

Perseus said...

Even though Rawlinson is out injured (headline for permanent newspaper), we do have some track and field hope. Buster Mottram is a chance, so is Sally McLennan in the hurdles, then both pole vaulters could shock on the day and the men's 4 x 400m is fricking awesome, as long as Steffenson doesn't combust under the weight of his own ego.

Tamsyn could force her way into an 800m final. She won't win (there's this Kenyan freak that will win by the length of the straight) but I hope she makes the final because it means I get to ogle her further.

wari lasi said...

I thought the spirit of the Olympic Games was a new undetectable performance enhancing drug.

And have you only got one carton of Coopers for the whole olympics? You better come for a visit to Moresby for a crash course on heavy drinking.

wari lasi said...

Jesus Christ Perseus!

You really DO need a woman in your life.

Such encyclopaedic sports knowledge is indicative of single male syndrome. It goes with the oversized right (or left) bycep.

Perseus said...

Nah... I'm connected heavily to track and field, via family. I know heaps about it, but I couldn't name more than one or two swimmers in total, and aside from maybe Cadel Evans and that Bogut guy, I doubt I'd be able to name any other athlete from any other sport.

But yes, I need a woman.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Oh, the carton is just for the Opening Ceremony, wari.

Perseus, I bet you organise your music collection by theme, too.

catlick said...

Wari lasi I knew you, like me, would be fascinated by this.

"[Morphological note: biceps is, originally, singular, with (in English) a zero plural (though bicepses is also attested): right biceps, left biceps, both biceps. Some people have interpreted the -s as a mark of plurality and so back-formed a singular bicep. *

*Language Log

Perseus said...

I used to, but with all these sub-genres I confused myself. Where the hell do you put Killdozer? Post-punk? Cock-rock? I realised I had gone too far when I lamely tried to put my classical collection into sub-genres. Baroque, renaissance, romantic... I bought a collection of Liszt's 'Tone Poems', realised I was out of my depth and gave up.

It's now all alphabetical.

wari lasi said...

Thanks Catlick. I really did get it all wrong didn't I? Spelling, plurality (is that a word?).

I think I got the context correct though.

And Perseus don't forget the down side of relationships. Mrs L and I are having ludicrously friendly discussions about the big D. We've lived in separate countries for eight years and the kids are big now, so we might as well get it out of the way.

She gets the house of course.

Boogeyman said...

It's now all alphabetical.

Pfft, loser. No wonder you're having problems in your love life.

Go Dewey and and the women will fall at your feet.

And Tamsyn Lewis - very ogle-worthy. Hot, fit and can run 800 metres in 2 minutes. Who could ask for more?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Go Dewey and and the women will fall at your feet

Boogey, Perseus has already explained he's not into Geek girls.

Fad MD said...

I love the Olympics and am glad that I'm not in Australia and therefore will get to see something other than swimming and equestrian events. I'm even paying for the 24hr Olympics channel on my cable.

I really can't understand why the equestrian events always feature so prominently in Australian coverage. Sure we will the occasional medal, but there's always hr after hr of horses tapdancing and walking sideways.

Roy and HG were great for showing the other events with the added bonus of their commentary. I still crack up thinking of their commentary of the table tennis.... Ping...pong...ping...pong...ping..

Boogeyman said...

Ping pong... or as the Chinese say... Ping pong.

catlick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You trying to say something, catlick?

Out with it, woman!

catlick said...

Blogg hates me today. Ruining my work. *sulk*

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You have offended the Gods of the Interwebs, catlick.

I'd a sacrifice a chicken to placate them.

And then eat the chicken.

Puss In Boots said...

Just not in my living room, with your fingers.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

For those keen on knowing more (and isn't that all of the TSFKA crowd);

Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus(27 February ca. 272 – 22 May 337), commonly known as Constantine I, Constantine the Great (among Western Christians), or Saint Constantine (among Eastern Orthodox and Byzantine Catholic Christians), was Roman Emperor from 306, and the undisputed holder of that office from 324 to his death.

Best known for being the first Christian Roman Emperor, Constantine reversed the persecutions of his predecessor, Diocletian, and issued (with his co-emperor Licinius) the Edict of Milan in 313, which proclaimed religious toleration throughout the empire.

Hobbies include listening to music, long walks on the beach and crushing pretenders to the throne.

Perseus said...

His favourite film: The Shawshank Redemption.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Turn-ons: Christians, columns and cats.

Turn-offs: Pagans, Persians and Perseus.

Perseus said...

GSOH

squib said...

Constantinus looks very left-winged to me Ramon

Desci said...

China update: It's ridiculously smoggy today. At a restaurant last night, Boyfriend saw it was all hazy inside. But no one was smoking. It was the fucking smog.

Cue scenes of marathon runners stopping mid-race to take hits of an oxygen tank.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Good work, Dess.

Is The Boyfriend interested in becoming the TSFKA's China correspondent?

Boogeyman said...

This will hark back to the good old days of yesteryear when athletes smoked like hyperventilating chimney sweeps.

wari lasi said...

Roger Gould, who gave the speech at birthday girl's father/daughter breakfast at her school the other day, apparently used to play for the wallabies. He said back then (late 70s early 80s) half the team smoked.

patchouligirl said...

I saw a bit of the opening ceremony before falling asleep around 10.30pm. I wouldn't mind seeing that again at a more civilised hour but when I rang seven to ask about a rerun they couldn't tell me if or when.

Boogeyman said...

They reran much of it this morning until 8am, Patch.

patchouligirl said...

Not in Newcastle bogey. It seems we're second class citizens up here, Prime saw fit to put on football instead.

patchouligirl said...

Oh I apologise I just checked the prime website and they did run it from 6am - 7.50am this morning. Still a bit of an uncivilised hour if you ask me. (There was no specific mention of the opening ceremony rerunning in the herald tv guide so I didn't know until I checked Primes website). Pity, but I'll get over it I'm sure.

Boogeyman said...

I wouldn't voluntarily get up that early on a Saturday morning, except the kids drag me out of bed to watch the cartoons.

Watching the opening ceremony highlights, I was a little surprised to see that only Greece, Australia, some little African nation, and China were competing. Everyone else must have decided to stay home.

patchouligirl said...

At 8am I was still sound asleep and given the chance to relive this morning I wouldn't change a thing. I'm only interested in seeing the fireworks and drums and dancing again, I couldn't give a toss about the athletes marching or the torch lighting ceremony. I fell asleep in the middle of the thing with the boat paddles, that would have been good to see the rest of. My husband nodded off at 9.30pm and didn't wake up until 8.30am so he managed to miss both airings completely!