Monday, July 14, 2008

Bye bye, Big Bogan.

Well Big Brother has finally been given the arse.

It’s customary to start these sort of things by saying “the axing of Big Brother fills me with mixed emotions” or some such bollocks.

Not in my case, of course.

On the rare occasion I actually saw the programme, it filled me with hatred and revulsion. It was a celebration of everything mean-spirited, venal and odious in the human condition, populated by the sort of buffoons I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire, let alone spend my precious time watching.

In keeping with the spirit of the original Big Brother, I’d strap a cage full of live rats to all of their faces.

Except for Kyle. I’d shove a live rat up his rectum and lock him in a room filled with hungry cats.

I supposed we can now look forward to an unlimited number of cultural studies students doing their PhDs on “Being and nothingness in Big Brother; A post colonial deconstruction”.

Big Brother was also responsible for launching the howling mediocrity that is Ausculture Jess on an unsuspecting world. For this crime alone, there can be no forgiveness.

26 comments:

Boogeyman said...

Now that BB is gone, where does that leave Monoculture Jess? Regurgitating news articles for the chronically hits-deprived Aussie Defamer website, I suppose.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Clam also writes for Australian Defamer.

What a quality publication it must be.

Perseus said...

I echo your sentiments. I watched one episode of BB ever and nearly cried it was so awful. Now if they can only get rid of Idol as well my faith in humanity will be somewhat resored.

Leilani said...

I've only had one encounter with Big Brother. I had just given birth and was just settling into my bed in the maternity ward and the woman in the bed next to me was watching the late-night porno episode of the show (whatever it was called). From what I could see it consisted of a bunch of bogans discussing how they wipe their arses. I couldn't believe I was bringing children into a world where a show like that was considered a ratings hit. I'm glad it's dead.

Boogeyman said...

Well, it's gone for now, but it will be back... in about the year 200,000. Of course, by then it will be run by Daleks, and contestants will be molecularly disassembled, then later experimented on.

*sigh* What a shame they didn't think to do that in this era of BB.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Sod the year 200,000 Boogey.

I want Kyle experimented on now.

Preferrably as painfully as possible.

Also - how good was Doctor Who last night.

Perseus said...

I missed the start of Doctor Who last night because of Richmond giving the Eagles a whopping (go Tiges) and so I was a bit confused as to why they were there in the first place and who that family was. I did however like the big hot-rock-men. But here's my controversial statement: I'm not a David Tennant fan. I struggle to understand him when he starts talking too fast.

Boogeyman said...

Also - how good was Doctor Who last night.

Which episode is the ABC up to now, the Adipose or the Pompeii episode?

If the latter, it was great. But I don't know why my history teachers omitted the role of the giant angry rock creatures in Vesuvius's eruption.

If the former, oops, sorry for the spoilers.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm not a David Tennant fan

Can you hear that noise, Perseus?

That's the sound of every single geek girl in Australia lining up to kick your arse.

Don't mess with the geek girls.

Pompeii one, Boogey.

Boogeyman said...

You see, that's why you get no respeck, Perseus.

Missing Doctor Who for foozeball = glassed.

And don't tell me the idea of a David Tennant/Jack Harkness sandwich doesn't get you even a little bit curious.


Pompeii one, Boogey.

Actually, Pompeii lost. Vesuvius won.

And yes, I do likes me some pseudo-historical sci-fi drama in togas.

squib said...

Someone was saying to me the other week that Tennant was really ugly in that musical drama series 'Blackpool' because he had no chin but she reckons since he became Doctor Who he's had a chin implant or something. I wish she hadn't told me that because now I keep looking at his chin

Big Brother: if there's something more boring than being bored shitless it's watching a house full of people who are bored shitless

Perseus said...

Pft. Geek girls suck, as does their taste in Doctor Whos. It's rock chicks that know where it's at.

Eccleston was heaps better than Tennant.

patchouligirl said...

"Ten now faces a huge programming challenge to fill the 120-hour void in 2009" Great - more Simpsons. We've actually abandoned channel 10 altogether, we lost reception of it months ago and haven't bothered climbing on the roof to jiggle the antenna and retrieve it.

I hope this is a sign of the end of reality tv - I mean, "battle of the choirs" - what the fuck is that all about? I actually look forward to reruns of "keeping up appearences" as a highlight of the viewing week.

Stubbadub said...

I have been sucked into a couple of series, including this one, and it’s usually been during the time big events have been happening in my life e.g. broke up with a special girlfriend, changed jobs, moved house etc. I can only guess it’s to do with BB filling some form of void in me when my emotional state is in turmoil. Or perhaps it's seeing the standard of people on there it makes me feel a whole lot better to begin with then I continue watching it to get closure.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Stubba!

Where you been?

Louche said...

I used to be a reality TV slut but I think it's a sign of my increasing maturity that I have been losing interest in BB the last couple of years and the thought of seeing Kyle's fat mug on TV was the final straw. The contestants became more smutty and less interesting each year. The format is dead.

I still like me some TAR though.

SG

Boogeyman said...

TAR, sweaterlouchegirl?

Stubbadub, welcome back to the interbloggerwebnets.

Louche said...

The Amazing Race. Only reality show I'd consider going on. But not with The Nerd, because we'd bicker constantly and get a bad edit.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Only reality show I'd consider going on.

Coming soon

"The Amazing Race: Preston.

"Join Ramon Insertnamehere and chums as they stroll down to the pub.

"Warning: Frequent use of the phrase 'monkey-sucking cunt'".

Stubbadub said...

I'm still testing out the waters of the internet policy of my new workplace so I have had to keep away from dodgy sites like this one for the last couple of months.

Stubbadub said...

Hence the current stream of consciousness style posting.

shitbmxrider said...

nothing funnier than a washed-up ex-BB contestant who got absolutely nowhere, and with no-one remembers em...

I know one such person, my ex's sister...poor little dear had to "flee the country" after she came out of the house, too many people were hassling her...yeaaah, fuckin bullshit, its because she was NOT getting recognised...hahaha

Boogeyman said...

So did your ex force you to watch BB just to watch her sister on TV, ShBR?

Desci said...

See, what I hate is that it has a genuinely interesting premise, and from day one it's made a mockery of that. Imagine how good it would be if they had a massive range of people, 16 contestants who would never meet in real life: a 19 year old holocaust denier, a 73 year old jew, a 35 year old polygamous domme, a 45 year old vicar who's never been out of Hobart...

Instead they go to your local shit nightclub and pick a dozen people. And the results make my eyes and ears bleed.

Dad loves it, though, because he's such an old perve.

The Red Setter said...

Morons on TV I can forgive, but lending credence to the hideous Jess McGuire is completely unforgivable. So in that respect, I too hated BB.

shitbmxrider said...

Boogey: I resisted, o, how I resisted.