Monday, July 7, 2008

The End of Civilisation As We Know It

Oh. My. God. This is huge. The Age reports today that the Victorian Labour Party accepts political donations from companies that compete for government contracts.

This HAS SURELY NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

I am so shocked. I can't believe this is happening. I won't sleep for weeks.

Someone bring in the Feds, ASIO, ACCC, FBI, CIA, UN, Nato, NASA, UNESCO, Jimmy Carter, Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, priests and soothsayers, Andrew Demetriou, Big Brother, Bono, Sir Bob Geldof and Arthur the barber from Gertrude Street to come in and clear this mess up. Heads will roll. Brumby will do time, surely.

Fuck it, the Queen of England, our royal majestyness, needs to step in here and have the entire Victorian ALP sent to Port Arthur and install Mr. Bailleii, umm, Ballieiue, umm, Bauliieu, umm, Ted, as Premier immediately.

In other shocking news today, a scientist has proposed that the Earth is round and not flat.

18 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Quiet news weekend, comrade.

The journo in question, Royce Millar, has the reputation of something of a beat-up merchant.

The article also says there was no evidence of corrpution and it wasn't new.

So - why is it news, then.

Loose Shunter said...

I think there's a chain of 'logic' we can follow here, namely:

NSW has a Labor government

Victoria also has a Labor Government

NSW Labor raises a lot of money from property developers

Therefore, Victorian Labor raises a lot of money from property developers.

And yes, Royce is a beat-up merchant and his 'journalistic practices' are questionable.

LS

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And what's happened to the "comments" thingo, over on the left.

It's censorship, that's wot it is.

Perseus said...

That's Stubbadub's job.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Well, Stubb's a slack bugger then.

Boogeyman said...

Blame the Dutch. Seriously, it's their fault.

Speaking of Stubbadub, where is he? Did he get buried in a shallow grave somewhere by a dirty ho?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I wonder if she used a dirty hoe?

Boogeyman said...

I'm pretty sure that's what I meant.

I just don't do this 'wit' thing that's so popular round these here parts.

Perseus said...

No, you had right-of-way Boogey. Ramon incorrectly doubled-up on your joke.

Boogeyman said...

No, I did mean to spell it 'hoe' originally.

you had right-of-way

Like any good Queenslander attempting their first hook turn, I careened across the traffic, caused a few pile-ups, then continued on my way with my finger out the window.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Rubbish.

Boogey crashed into me!

Boogeyman said...

I wondered who owned that lime-green Datsun 120Y with the "Spin-doctors do it in circles" bumper sticker I clipped on my way through.

Perseus said...

FUCK.

Labor, not Labour.

I hate it when people do that, now I've done it.

shitbmxrider said...

Hook turns rule, you QLD/NSW cunts don't know what your missing

Tom Gaylord said...

lol great post!

homesick said...

Hook turns?

You mean to tell me there is an known colloquial reference used for the dumbest road rule ever imagined.

Victoria.. the wild ride State.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You're just jelus of our mighty hook turns, homesick.

Boogeyman said...

Hook turns = right turns designed by the Jackass team.