Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Wil Anderson does not exist!

For some time, the whole “Wil Anderson” issue has been troubling me.

What is it about him that sends me into such spasms of rage* that I have to leave the room every time he appears on the tellie (and it’s not just me. An Age reviewer summed up the Gruen Transfer as “the moment when your interest in the show overcomes your hatred of Wil Anderson”).

After much thinking**, I think I’ve hit on the answer.

Wil Anderson doesn’t exist.

He’s a construct that cannot exist in the real world, a hollow man*** with no substance, an empty suit they prop up in front of the cameras.

Have you ever heard Wil Anderson say anything that was thoughtful, intelligent or not written for him by a team of writers? Unplug him from the auto-cue or the life-support system kindly supplied by Aunty and he’d dissolve into a puddle of vile smelling goo.

He also whinged and bitched like a girl when the hateful Glasshouse was axed.

Sorry, Wil old mate, but the Glasshouse was old, stale and tired. It might have been producing a nice little earner for you and your otherwise unemployable pals but it was boring the rest of us rigid.

And calling Philip Ruddock a “right-wing pig-rooter” on the ABC is neither brave nor clever. You want respect? Call Bob Brown a “sanctimonious hippie” while doing your “edgy stage show”.

You’re the worst type of “activist”; a smug little bourgeois cunt who thinks making a cheap joke is actually doing something.

* He’s a nice enough bloke to meet in the flesh, though.

** Over a couple of beers in the backyard.

*** Another television programme I have no intention of watching.


Perseus said...

My Mum loves him. She looks forward to his weekly column in the Herald-Sun. She sometimes rings me to tell me some of the things he writes. But I still don't know who he is really - I;ve never watched one second of Glasshouse or Gruen. Wouldn't recognise him if he fell in my pea soup.

You're not going to watch Hollow Men? I can't wait! I loved Frontline, and if it's half as good it'll be worth watching.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I was tempted by The Hollow Men Perseus but two things hold me back;

1. It stars Rob Sitch and

2. The Age's Debbi Enker loved it.

You can see my dilemna.

Perseus said...

Rob Sitch Being HImself = Annoying.

Rob Sitch Acting = Pretty good I reckon.

I see your Debi Enker point though. But if she liked Cooper's Ale would you stop drinking it?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

God, Marx and Kruddy themselves could command me to stop drinking delicious, frosty Coopers Ale and it wouldn't make the slightest difference.

Boogeyman said...

If you overlook The Panel, all his other acting work has been ok.

I was hoping you'd watch The Hollow Men Ramon and tell us everything they get wrong.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Well, based on the piece I read in the "Green Guide", they seem to get rather a lot wrong.

Sweatergirl said...

Isn't Wil Anderson just Adam Hills with two legs?

The Gruen transfer is worth watching, if only for the sexehness that is Todd Sampson.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Going home.

Sick as a dog.

Boogeyman said...

Gee, I didn't realise discussions of Wil Anderson affected you that badly Ramon.

Puss In Boots said...

Off topic, but Boogey even you would have to admit that today is a cold day in Brisbane, no?

I am so cold that I have turned off the air con in my building, have two heaters going right near me, and it is still so cold in here that my ears are hurting and my fingers feel like they're going to snap off.

Boogeyman said...

I picked a bad day to leave home without a jacket.

Today is one of those 'wtf this biting cold wind feels like Sydney' days.

As opposed to yesterday, which was one of those 'it's pissing down rain, I'm cold and soaked through, I must be in Melbourne' days.

Puss In Boots said...

Wahoo! Vindication!

Perseus said...

So is it a barmy 15 degrees there or something you sooks?

Boogeyman said...

It's always barmy up here, Perseus.

But not so balmy unfortunately, due to the biting wind.

Perseus said...

Smalmy cunt.

Frank said...

Wil Anderson exists. He paints his fingernails and his beedy little eyes follow the autocue so he can deliver every sylabble of the lame jokes that are written for him.