Friday, July 18, 2008

Pope reveals "I'm a huge Titanic fan".

My heart vill gooooooo onnnnnn

Journalists covering the visit of Pope Benedict to Australia were startled when the pontiff acted out parts of the film Titanic while cruising on Sydney harbour yesterday.

“I’ve always loved that film” the 81 year old Pope told journalists, before moving to the bow of the yacht and performing the “King of the World” scene from Titanic.

“And when Leonardo DiCaprio dies, I tear up everytime” Pope Benedict added.

A papal spokesman commented “Oh God, this shit again” before sitting down and having a nice cup of tea.

36 comments:

wari lasi said...

Does anyone ever tell him he looks absolutely ridiculous?

This whole vestments thing is all completely overdone. It's like art I suppose, you can justify almost anything in the name of religion. Even red shoes.

And I think the name Ratsinger is quite apt, he certianly has a rodent like quality about him.

catlick said...

Is this the funniest Pope accent? The last one was borderline incomprehensible towards the end, but Joseph Ratzinger could be auditioning for 'allo 'allo.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's almost impossible not to listen to him without wondering when he's going to say "Ve ask ze questions here".

wari lasi said...

Since that email went around about the German Coastguard radio operator my favourite German line is,

"Vot are you sinking about?"

And young Joseph was in Hitler Youth as a kid, but to be fair I don't think he had any choice.

catlick said...

As I lounge here, listening to the rain, and watching the dogs snooze in front of the fire, I wonder what Mel Brooks would have done?

wari lasi said...

He'd have had a bloody field day Catlick.

Why aren't you out Pope watching? Like a good tyke.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

More to the point, why aren't you out working, like the rest of us schlubs?

Slacker.

catlick said...

Wari Lasi I chose not to take advantage of my Randwick options in favour of lobbying all my sick friends to document their illnesses and prayers for miraculous and merciful intercession by Mary McKillop." Think of others," I said, "not just of yourself", in this our hour of need. What does Australia need, right now, more than any one thing in the world? Our own Saint.

wari lasi said...

Indeed Catlick indeed. Can we pray to Mary for lower oil prices? Or more correctly for forgiveness for doing fuck all about our dependence on oil for the last 30 years when we've known it was going run out?

If you want to read some really uplifting stuff have a look at Jack Marx's blog today. It's a ripper.

I think he's going to be in for some serious abuse. And I very much doubt "Our Mary" will be interceding on his behalf.

Perseus said...

Love of my life Kate Winslet was not in 'Titanic' wah wah wah wah not listening not listening wah wah wah wah!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Kate has been in some shockers, Perseus.

Boogeyman said...

It's been all downhill for Kate since Heavenly Creatures.

Perseus said...

She was great in Extras and Eternal Sunshine Etc. and she continues to be beautiful and why she's married to that drongo that thinks a fluttering plastic bag is 'beautiful' is beyond me.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

why she's married to that drongo that thinks a fluttering plastic bag is 'beautiful' is beyond me

When she could be married to you?

Perseus said...

Exactly. I wouldn't be out shooting digital movies of plastic bags, I'd be at home doing all her ironing. I'm very good at ironing. Anbd get this: Two weeks ago I bought a chainsaw. So that makes me both domestic and manly. What else does she need?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You bought a chainsaw, Perseus?

Aren't you supposed to be useless with power tools?

I'd put Triple-0 on speed dial now, if I were you

catlick said...

Marry me Perseus!

Fred said...

Dorothy wore red shoes when she went to Oz too.

perhaps a nod from one fairy tale character to another?

Boogeyman said...

Let me get this straight, Perseus.

You live in a little seaside town, far from civilisation.
You live alone.
You enjoy cooking and ironing.
You've just bought your own chainsaw.

This is shaping up to be the Wolf Creek of '08.

Perseus said...

Yes, I bought a fucking chainsaw you cunt.

(Admittedly, it's sat on my laundry floor ever since and I haven't used it yet because I can't work out how to put it together. The instruction manual may as well be in Klingon. A mate of mine who knows these sorts of things is coming down next week to help. Then I will be a man.)

squib said...

Trivia time! Did you know that after the Titanic sank, dock workers who had seen anti-catholic grafitti on the Titanic's coal bunkers (the people who built the ship in Belfast had a strict no Catholic workers policy) probably started the rumour that the Titanic had the hull number 390904 which backwards was supposed to read 'no pope'... thus people claimed the ship had been doomed

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Squib, for a moment there I thought you were going to say the Pope sank the Titanic.

wari lasi said...

And he's anti gay!

I know flat out queens who would regard his outfit as being too over the top.

wari lasi said...

No Ramon, The Big Guy himself had to step in for that one.

Is it true or just urban myth that when it was launched they said that even God couldn't sink the Titanic?

catlick said...

"Is it true or just urban myth that when it was launched they said that even God couldn't sink the Titanic?"
Would that be a Pope Urban myth?

Boogeyman said...

I'm intrigued by that massive ring on his right hand. Do you think it leaves an indelible mark on the jaw when he punches out sinners?

"Old Byzantine saying: Pope rough with roughnecks"

squib said...

Well Ramon I'm not saying he didn't

*cue spooky music*

Melba said...

the ring is his bling, and his handle is "benedict ex vee ayyyy" (to be read in ali g voice_\).

ps i want to be anon but i can't. be nice to me?

catlick said...

Squib that's good enough for me. Cue interweb rumour/fact.

homesick said...

Whilst channel surfing the dross that is American television i discovered the cable channel EWTN. God knows what this stands for but it has someting to do with Catholicism. This particular program had a monk in all his brown robe regalia hosting a relaxed informal chat show with its premise being "Just cause I'm a monk doesn't mean I'm not in touch (fner fner) with todays yoof"

I go back to the same channel to show spouse the Oprah Monk and he is now sitting on the deck of the Opera House, still in his brown robes but now wearing a slouch hat, chatting with some young Catholic bogans.

He refered to old Joe as "Pope Diddy" because of Benedicts hippness with the yoof of today.

catlick said...

If you search "fner" you get this

Why?

WitchOne said...

Catlick, I felt like I was in her bedroom while she had weird nerdy sex. That kind of embarrassment should be kept private!

And that poor dog.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The cat clearly didn't give a fuck.

But then again, they never do.

catlick said...

I just didn't realise that you had to do an audition tape to be White Slaved these days.

homesick said...

I apologise for the confusion and embarrassment caused by 'fnar'.

If I had spelt it correctly it would've been 'fnarr' .. a tribute to Finbarr Saunders and his Double Entendres*.

* search Viz magazine

Mr E Discharge said...

Well Ramon I'm not saying he didn't

*cue spooky music*


Iceberg....
That's a Jewish name, right?

Hmmmmm....