Apologies for the late posting, however I only just got back at home after three nights in Melbourne. That's not to say I was off having sex all weekend. As it happens I did have some sex, it's just not to say that I did...
Anyway, on Friday night I had my second date with E-bird who I met via RSVP.com. It is the first time I've tried RSVP, and she was the only person I liked on it, and we had had a coffee date last weekend and this time we had 'drinks' from 8.30pm onwards at a nice bar in Collingwood, Melbourne.
Went alright.
Positives:
* We talked from 8.30pm until 1.30am without any awkward pauses.
* She confessed to having a girl-crush on Julia Gillard, and a massive crush on Paul Keating.
* She instigated subtle touching. You know, hand on arm when making a point sort of thing.
* A complete stranger came up to us and said we 'looked good together', and asked how long we had been a cpuple. E-bird said to her, "We've just started dating."
* She is wonderful and I really like her.
Negatives:
* She made it clear several times that moving out of Melbourne would not be an option for her. It wasn't said directly, as such. We're not going out, and we weren't discussing moving or anything, but she managed to steer the conversation into that sort of direction several times, as well as asking things like, "Do you miss Melbourne? Do you ever foresee coming back?"
* She is the same height as me (6'). But her ex boyfriend was Burmese, and she did refer to them as 'small' (she's been to Burma!) and so I'm guessing I'm taller than him. Even so, if she gets in heels, she'll be taller. I still don't know how I feel about that. I know, I know, I shouldn't be so old-fashioned, and Patchouligirl doesn't mind her fella being shorter, and, well, yeah...
* At 1.30pm she announced she wanted to go to to sleep and so I walked her back to apartment. I went for a kiss, and was only offered a cheek. Bad sign. Maybe.
I shall be emailing her today requesting a third date.
Had band/family duties rest of weekend.
Highlight: Fish n Chips for lunch, Sunday.
Lowlight: Finally Richmond wins a fucking game, a thriller no less, and I missed the whole thing.
(The sexors happened last night with my sometimes-lover of the last 3 years, Miss Artist, who has made it very clear to me that I am 'too old' to ever consider as a boyfriend, but 'just right' as a sometimes-lover. She gave me what I believe Gen Y refer to as a 'booty call', which is a terribly uncouth term for what is a wondrous act. It was a fine night because we also went to see the original 'The Time Machine' at The Astor. Great line. The main guy was 50,000 years in the future talking to this chick who lived in a kind of Eden where they just sat aroud frolicking and grazing on fruits, and he was trying to explain machines and science to her and she didn't understand. He said to himself, "Oh, there's no point trying to make her understand. It would be like trying to explain these things to someone on the island of Bali in my own time!")
Now before you jump up about me having sex with Miss Artist, consider this: Miss Artist is also the last person I had sex with (about 6 weeks ago) and we have been intimate (when single) for three years. It's just the type of relationship we have and I don't think it impedes my thought processes about anyone else. I happen to think it is a very beautiful relationship and understanding we have. So get fucked.
Why am I writing all this on the fucking internet?
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34 comments:
Is that a typo? 8.30pm to 1.30PM?
I think it's good E-girl didn't let you pash her. Good for her.
I don't get the booty call thing. What are you? 19? What's wrong with a wank? What's wrong with some self-respect? It's cheap and tacky, there is no other word for it. What, we are expected to think it's a beautiful thing between the two of you, because you've been faithful to her for the last 6 weeks? Or that she is the only sex you're getting? If you had slept with e-girl the other night, would the booty call have happpened?
Don't expect a lot of comments. I think the readership has halved, thanks to Desci and her bear-declawing.
Ah, yes, typo. I shall fix.
I contemplated not mentioning Miss Artist in my post, because really, it's none of anyone's business, but then again, may as well give the full story. I'm not saying it's 'right', I'm just saying that's how it is, and I like it.
If I did have sex with E-bird then no way would I have gone to Miss Artist's bed (still would've gone to the movie though). Even if I pashed E-Brid I wouldn't have accepted the booty call.
She's Gen Y, that's why I used the term.
...and anyway, two single lonely people having sex is "cheap and tacky"? Why?
It's not cheap and tacky if you meet a girl or boy, and you fall into bed together. It's the calling and arranging it, when you both know the purpose, or the result. If you're not going out together.
UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!
E-Bird has dumped me on email.
Ah well.
Back to the drawing board.
I disagree Melba. I don't like stranger-sex. Miss Artist is a friend, and there's a trust that comes with that, and a safety.
Hmmm, I don't know. It's the phone call thing, and the name for it, that makes it cheap and tacky. And sex being involved. Why not just go out, as friends, enjoy the movie, have a nice time. Then go home and masturbate? Why the sex? You say you are lonely, not horny. But it's horniness then?
Sorry about the email. Maybe she's reading?
"Why not just go out, as friends, enjoy the movie, have a nice time. Then go home and masturbate? Why the sex?"
Were you ever single?
Two things:
1. with respect to EB, that sucks. How do you dump someone by email? Is she simply too scarred by the Burmese experience, and not ready to get back on the horse?
2. Although I am loathe to call a booty call a booty call, I do feel compelled to say that I am all in favour of them. (And this is not at all related to my experience Saturday night/Sunday morning).
The only thing is there is a certain element of risk of people getting attached in an asymmetrical sort of a way, but ... c'est la vie.
Self-respect? Tacky? Masturbate? Am I really reading these words? Have we gone back to the 50's? What happened to sexual liberation? If Perseus wants to get some sexing, good for him!
A few years ago I dated a gentleman who thought it unseemly that I had had a fuck buddy. I defended it. We were both consenting adults that enjoyed each other's company, and the sex was quite astounding, but also had no desire to date each other. We were both single, so no harm to anyone.
The gentlemen who found my actions so distasteful, on the other hand, thought it quite reasonable to use a woman of the night regularly.
Double standards.....
Perseus, if I were still single, you could slip your slippers under my mattress anytime for some "relief".......
I would just like to add that I would not think any less of you Perseus for sleeping with the GenY girl.
You're both consenting and I don't see a problem. As long as you both understand the situation, that you're honest with one another then who is it hurting?
I hope you're not sad about the Amazonian, Perseus? Someone who takes the easy option of dumping you via email can't be that nice to begin with, surely?
Isn't it possible that the booty call could be considered by people other than '50s prudes to be tacky? It's not a class act, so it must have a certain level of tackiness. Maybe it's the cold-bloodedness of it that I find tacky. I wasn't saying it's wrong, dangerous, or terrible. I was just saying it was tacky. Because it is.
Shame about e-bird, she seemed alright (urban/rural divide again probably), but dumping someone by email after the second date is perfectly fine in my book, cause its not like you were "dating" is it, who starts "dating" before snogging anyway???
I've never known a booty call to involve going to a cinema as well, unless thats where your rendezvous occured. You didnt have sex in the cinema did you ?
Booty calls, friends with benefits, fuck buddies - beats randoms. I dont see anything tacky in that.
OK, I'm an uptight square then.
Is it a rhetorical question? Perhaps you just wanted to make sure we all knew how tall you are? You get a kickback from RSVP? It was an entertaining read, so I, for one, am glad you did.
If Perseus wants to get some sexing, good for him! Well said, couldn't agree more. I'm all in favour of meaningless sex for singles. Maybe artist chick likes you more than she admits or vice versa, it sounds like this was the highlight of the weekend to me. Send her some flowers. P.S. never forget - we're all the same height lying down ;)
Chin up Pers, as a semi-veteran of the internet dating scene (my ex of 3.5 yrs I met thru there 5yrs ago, as have been a fair few random hookups over the past year and a half)...you have these setbacks...
She give you any reason fella?
Its funny, even when you find on who a) seems normal, b) seems pretty cool, and c) is into you, it can still all fall to shit...
I have just found out a girl that I was seeing there for a whilst, like 1 night every weekend for 2 months, and I mean 'all bar fucking' seeing....
Who told me she didnt have a boyfriend, does have that boyfriend, and isnt in NZ on a holiday with friends, is in NZ with that same boyfriend...
And I liked her, too.... which is a shame for my good self...
I don't even particularily mind about being the other guy, its more the lies that gets me down...
Add to that nearly all the other 'expieriences' I have had over the past couple of months have ended with the immortal line "Oh, I don't really want to be with anyone at the moment, besides, I think I only see you as a friend".... I can almost set a timer to the fact that within 2 weeks, they will have a new partner.... 3 times so far this year!
Hang on, maybe it is all just a bad joke....
What's wrong with booty calls, Melba? I don't understand the dislike. I think it's a lot better to have sex with someone you know and trust than some random stranger you could catch anything from.
Sorry about EB, Pers. But like I said, finding someone online is unlikely to happen quickly. I hope this hasn't discouraged you from internet dating.
Apart from the cat fight over on the birthday thread, this is the most interesting post I've read on here since I joined up!
I'm among the ranks of those who fully support the idea of the FWB. The only drawback would be if one of the parties had unreasonable expectations of the relationship developing into something else. It's pretty clear that's not the case here.
E-girl sounds like a cunt.
Because we hadn't had sex, I am comfortable with E-Bird dumping me on email, and she wasn't at all cunty. She was very nice, in fact, and even asked if I'd like to go to a film with her in a couple of weeks. She just said she didn't want anything more than a friendship with me, and that's fair enough.
Puss - after reading what ShitBMX wrote, I may indeed give up on internet dating.
I might give it one more shot, but this time, I might target someone who is less intelligent than E-bird, but warmer/happier.
...and Melba, I think you have been out-voted.
I'm actually paranoid about picking up STDs, and picking up wacko psychos. Miss Artist is clean, and a dear friend, and of sound mind. A good night is guaranteed.
One night-stands are a thing of my youth. I'm more measured these days.
That's okay. I've never been one to crumble under peer-group pressure anyway.
Thanks for the tea towel, Pers old son.
It's magnificently hideous.
And what the fuck is a "booty call"?
You're welcome Ramon. It is especially ugly because it is also irrelevant. There are no lobsters in my town to be caught. Abalone, yes, but not lobster.
And this from wiki: "A booty call is a telephone call, other communication, or visitation made with the sole intent of engaging in sex or other forms of sexual release with the person being contacted. Traditionally this social practice, especially the term booty call, is associated with a person calling another person for a sexual encounter after having already established either a casual or more serious relationship involving sexual relations. It is not to be confused with phone sex."
You hear that? It is NOT to be confused!
Well, I'm glad that's all cleared up then.
And I was down in your neck of the woods over the weekend.
Country towns give me the creeps.
Did you come to my town? And you didn't come for a coffee?
I wasn't here, but, you know, still.
It's the inland towns you have to watch. When you drive into Birregurra, you can see the gun barrells coming through the faded curtains.
Anglesea.
I'm crap at small talk at the best of times, so therefore my internal monologue is something like
"I don't want a 15 minute fucking conversation about the weather, just give me my change, you fucking hick"
Pers that is a cracking read!
Perhaps you need your own reality show like "Farmer needs a wife". Maybe "Texan Goth Pirate needs a womb"?
Mrs Fad and I actually started out as a booty cal or FWB. Now our youngest is celebrating his 3rd birthday today by chasing his yaya around the house with his new toy chainsaw. At least he's wearing safety goggles.
Texan Goth Pirate needs a womb
I'd watch that.
Others in the series to include.
Richmond needs a new coach
Australian cricket team needs a new captain
I need a new liver
Perseus, perhaps you need to hedge your bets on the urban divide situation. You should say "I am considering moving back to Melbourne" when asked that question, and then change the subject.
Then if you start dating seriously, and she asks when you will be moving, you can say you had considered it but decided not too.
By then it will be too late, and the two of you might be in love, and forced to compromise, by moving to Adelaide!
Pers, that arrangement sounds truly lovely. Good on you, excellent sir.
Pity about e-bird; it sounds like the logistics were the only factor. But at least you were both up front and saved a potentially agonising scene in which you both end up being supremely unhappy.
What's wrong with booty calls, Melba? I don't understand the dislike. I think it's a lot better to have sex with someone you know and trust than some random stranger you could catch anything from.
Yup - I was never big on the singles scene and preferred "friends with benefits" when in between partners.
What happened to the girl you were seeing a few months back, Pers? I can;t keep up with your hectic dating life!
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