Monday, October 13, 2008

Sam Elliott was never called an arsehole

Sam Elliott and moustache



Wonderful news comrades, Operation Georges Clemenceau has been given the green light.

The following exchange occurred last night while watching The Golden Compass, featuring Sam Elliott , above.

Me: “One day, I’m going to grow a walrus moustache, like Sam Elliott.”

Mrs INH: “Umm…



“OK”.

There you have it.

As to the film itself, to use a phrase made popular by my old comrade Perseus over at Perseus Q, “fuck it was shithouse”.

The film is based on the first book of Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy; a series which is, apparently, a subtle and nuanced denunciation of God and organised religion.

Well comrades, there were some angry denunciations coming forth from the living room of Lenin House last night but they were only indirectly addressed to the almighty.

The makers of The Golden Compass clearly suffered an attack of the heebie-jeebies* and decided to remove from their film any reference to religion. Or God. Or anything that might make the film interesting or watchable or even vaguely coherent.

In the end we’re left with a film mostly about armoured, talking polar bears and Nicole Kidman.

Of the two, the armoured, talking polar bears were the more believable.

Oh and in other news...

World economy still going to hell in a hand basket, Sarah Palin still corrupt, right-wing lunatic, cat still surly, aggressive.

Hope you lot are all keeping well.

*May not be the correct technical film-making term.

34 comments:

Mad Cat Lady said...

Surly cats go nuts for Smoked Salmon.
I've tried my cats on caviar and they don't like the black stuff at all. They like the smell of it, but when the little eggs burst in their mouths it's a bit too much for them and they very nearly have a seizure - it's quite funny, but you can only fool them once.

Can't chat - must go write acceptance speech for my beautiful new blue t-shirt.

Perseus said...

Ramon, no. Just no.

*

Re: Palin. This makes me like Matt Damon.

*

You won Squib's blue shirt, MCL? No fair!

squib said...

You don't REALLY think that when she said 'OK' she meant 'OK' do you, you fool?

I haven't seen 'The Golden Compass' yet but in family film watching news here, we watched 'The Magnificent Matador' (the most shithouse film in shithouse history and to make matters worse, I stuffed up the recording and we didn't find out what happened right at the end) AND 'Black Beauty' on dvd. I had forgotten that BB is narrated by the horse and this unsettled me at first but I was quite teary-eyed by the end

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I close my ears to you walrus- moustache nay-sayers.

Squib, do you think she was saying "OK" as in "that sounds like a splendid idea" or "OK" as in "yes, yes whatever, just shut your drunken babbling, I'm trying to watch the film"?

Perseus said...

Squib's right. It may have been a case of, "OK... but you'll never get even a snog out of me!"

Oh, and Squib. Your thing about the shithouse film and missing the end reminds me of that gag, "The food here is so terrible, and such small portions too!"

squib said...

lol Persey aye, everyone sat there whinging about how crap it was and when it suddenly stopped did they cheer? No, they all turned on me and blamed me for wrongful recording

squib said...

PS. Ramon yes to answer B.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pfft.

You're all just jelus.

Leilani said...

Sam Elliott's moustache is the best thing in the film. Plus he has that cute rabbit daemon. I found Nicole Kidman's unmoving face scarier than the polar bear fight.

billyjoe noodle-bob said...

i'm in the unfortunate position of having seen the film first - and thought 'hmm this is pretty interesting, but feels like it's tiptoeing around some of the more interesting themes here...'

and now i'm reading the book, and seeing our nic's botoxed to buggery bonce on every page.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Meanwhile, on the set of Australia;

"Aww, fuck it, Nic's face has locked up again.

"Steve, can you get the axe handle and give the back of her head a couple of good, stiff whacks again?

"That should get it moving."

patchouligirl said...

If Nic has had botox, it isn't because of sun damage. The woman is always ghostly pale.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's not just me saying this, mind.

wari lasi said...

I saw the Sharon Osbourne tirade on Today this morning. Isn't she a classy chick?

Puss In Boots said...

I'm not saying she hasn't had botox, but I often get people asking me if I've had botox injections, because of my skin. I never go in the sun, don't drink alcohol or coffee, don't wear make up, and only use a basic moisturiser every day, and apparently this makes my skin look like I've had work done.

Also, why are there never any crazy dog ladies? What is it about cats that makes people want to collect them in large quantities?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

My main gripe with "Our Nic" (tm) is that she's a shithouse actress.

Apart from BMX Bandits, of course.

Melba said...

Perseus, this will make you like Matt Damon even more:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=WLG3S5WzHig

Sorry, I can't do that fancy-pants hotlinking here. Teach me?

Mad Cat Lady said...

Puss: http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,24291580-949,00.html

Louche said...

Nic has very pale skin because she can't go in the sun due to extensive peels she's had on her face. It's stripped it back so much it's as sensitive as newborn baby skin.

Cate Blanchett has wonderful skin too, but not that shiny stretched look.

Boogeyman said...

Mrs INH was clearly saying, "OK!!! Finally some Adelaidean moustache action. But by gum that thing's gonna tickle."

Puss - it helps to make facial expressions to clear up such confusion.

patchouligirl said...

extensive peels she's had on her face I wondered where the freckles went! Peroxide took care of the red hair - I wonder how she keeps her hair straight without wrecking it?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Breaking news.

The Mrs has had a re-think.

All walrus moustache action has been cancelled for the foreseeable future.

You were right, squib.

Perseus said...

Wasn't it you in the first place, Ramon, some time ago, who referred to beards and moustaches as 'tracksuits for the face'?

Maybe it was Boogeyman. Or Skeletor. Hack. It was one of you, anyway. And whoever it was, was right.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Not me, comrade.

I not even sure I know what that means.

Perseus said...

Well, because it's lazy (and unfashionable) to wear tracksuits around modern society.

Mad Cat Lady said...

If I were a man, I'd go those huge moustaches that join up to mutton chop whiskers - just because I could.

I see know cause why a man shouldn't have facial hair. It would, of course, depend on whether it suited him or not.

I am partial to the musketeer look.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I like your thinking, MCL.

squib said...

I'm always right Ramon

Melba said...

Ramon, I encouraged my husband to grow a beard. It suits him. I love beards and I don't think they look bad on anyone. But I'm not talking about the Abe Lincoln - that was even bad on Abe.

I say grow your moustache.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Thank you, Melba.

You are my new bestest friend.

eat my shorts said...

I agree, the polar bears were the best part of The Golden Compass. The big fight scene is great.

Not that I tolerate violence or anything.

And, if I had a moustache it would be one of those big old handlebar ones, so that when I was being mischievous I could twirl the ends of it in my fingers.

Not that I've given it all that much thought before now.

Boogeyman said...

Lord Flashheart was fond of women with facial hair, from memory. Growing that mo could boost your dating chances with boisterous OTT shakespearean characters, EMS.

eat my shorts said...

I do likes me some Shakespeare, as you well know, Boogey. The facial hair may have to be fake, it could take some time to grow the real stuff.

I'm nothing if not in a hurry, after all.

Did you take your turn at Scrabble? I believe if I pull some fabulous letters out, I could kick your butt.

shitbmxrider said...

Ramon, start off with a good, thick sideburn, and work from there...Ive been rocking the sideburns for 10 years now :D