Monday, October 27, 2008

Family First, You Are Dickheads

So, Senator Fielding (oh how it hurts to put those two words together) who got about 1% of the primary vote has weighed in on the Government's proposed 'filter' for the internet.

He wants hardcore porn and fetish sites blocked as well.

Because Mums and Dads surely don't look at hardcore porn and fetish sites, surely not, oh no. Only criminals look at porn. Gay atheist single childless lying criminals. They're the only ones that look at porn.

I for one would welcome some magical little box that can automatically stop anyone from accessing child porn, but is it possible (Boogeyman / Alex - TSFKA IT gurus)?

Maybe they could ban Wal's site while they're at it?

But hardcore porn and fetish sites... well, jeez, that's half the internet isn't it? And what's a fetish anyway? It can range from hot goats in bras to women firefighters in uniform to jizzin' on porcupines (www.jizzonspiky.com.be) to, I dunno, whatever... that's the point, and it's all too wide and varied, and much if not all of it could be deemed harmless or even healthy (though I'm yet to find my fetish represented at any site: Someone please make a Hot Bisexual Chick Librarian Goth Richmond Supporters Disciplining Scrawny Men Returning Classical Literature Late Back To The Library fetish site. Typing one-handed already).

But I say to Senator Feilding, there is one fetish I find totally distasteful and I want you to have the sites that feature this fetish closed down, and if you promise to do so I shall support you in your Senatorial lobbying.

The sites feature a mostly naked man being whipped and spiked by burly men in togas until he is bleeding everywhere, then he is hoisted on to a large wooden torture rack and nailed to it through the wrists and ankles while a hooker weeps and washes his feet. Filth!

Senator, you will find it at any Christian or Biblical website.

15 comments:

Desci said...

What's planned for the Australian webs is scary.

I was gonna post about it tomorrow, but I found this via violet blue.

Desci said...

Fucked up the hyperlink: http://nocleanfeed.com/index.html

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Hot Bisexual Chick Librarian Goth Richmond Supporters Disciplining Scrawny Men Returning Classical Literature Late Back To The Library fetish site

Pers, everything you seek can be found here.

wari lasi said...

What a gem.

Perseus, as Mrs L says to me often, "You are Soo going to hell"

I'm still unhappy I missed last week's anti-religion tirade.

catlick said...

I suspect this whole thing is a feint, a wedge, plausible deniability. "Look, we tried but those degenerate Libs wouldn't go for it".

Perseus said...

Oh that made me laugh Ramon. So true, so true, but she hates footy.

See you there Wari.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pers, I reckon you'd be the perfect candidate for the threesome Desci keeps talking about.

You could talk to her about music and afterwards, you could talk to the BoyF about footy.

I think you might be onto something there, catlick.

Alex said...

Ah fuck! I've been a bit preoccupied for the last few weeks and this is the first I've heard of it.

In answer to your question Perseus, there are quite a few personal internet filters available, that work to varying degrees of effectiveness. I think that a big problem with this stuff is that in a lot of families, kids know a lot more about how the computer works than their parents do - or parents just can't be bothered to monitor their kid's internet usage.

I don't really see how this will do anything to stop anyone accessing porn or whatever though. Won't people just use a proxy or trade stuff through irc, bittorrent, etc..?

What I can see this doing is creating an enormous pain in the arse. Anyone who has a content filter on their computer at work should know what I mean.

Also, this is the first time I've ever been referred to as an IT Guru.

Boogeyman said...

I'm all for this new filter, actually.

Once it comes into effect, IT gurus like myself will be the only ones able to bypass it and access sweet, sweet porn.

The potential for black market goodness is awesome. I'll get filthy rich and wear lot's of bling, just from selling illegal internet feeds to average guys and gals like hockey moms, Joe Sixpack, and Perseus.

Alex said...

At least Hustler's Sarah Palin parody porno will hit the internet next week, long before we have to worry about ISP filtration.

Which makes me ask the question - What's wrong with the Australian porn industry? Where are the Julia Gillard, Helen Coonan, Bob Brown, (Steve Fielding?) inspired porno parodies? Even the people who do the faked sex pictures of Aussie celebrities are crap compared to their American and European counterparts.

wari lasi said...

We didn't bother with the filters. When weird stuff came up on the home machine I pulled the young Lasi aside and gave him the "porno talk". It isn't really how people have sex. It is almost universally demeaning to women (he actually has some respect for his mother and sister) and my biggest problem is that it presents deviant behaviour (like having sex with animals) as normal. This was several years ago and he is actually (I may be being misled but I'm not that naive) quite a well adjusted young man.

WitchOne said...

Wait until he kills his first chicken Wari.

wari lasi said...

Oh Witchie, sometimes I wonder what I see in you.

But it was funny.

Desci said...

Well...

1. Boyfriend doesn't like footy.
2. It's a FMF threesome I'm after.

Ergo, if Pers is willing to strap on a pair of fake tits and chuck on some lippy, all the while keeping schtum about AFL, he's in.

squib said...

The top search term that brings people to my site at the moment is 'insect fetish', ya know, people who get hot and bothered about insects getting squashed. All cos I wrote something about Kafka