Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Some random thoughts on a slow news day

Missy Higgins.

Remember her? The media used to be over her like a cheap suit and now – nothing.

Gone. Disappeared. Vanished.

No great loss, but it strikes me as odd that someone could rise and fall so suddenly.

The Bible code.

Some years ago, some goose came up with a theory that the future could be predicted by analysing certain key phrases in the Bible. Biblical scholars poo-poohed this, yet consider.

The Bible states clearly “thou shall not suffer a witch to live” and three thousand years later we have Wendy Rule and Fiona Horne – both high-profile dickheads witches.

What were the writers of the Bible trying to tell us and what new horrors lurk?

John Pilger/Noam Chomsky – does anybody still take these cunts seriously (apart from Jeff Sparrow, I mean)?

And finally

How do you get girls to like you? I’ve been asking around and results are inconclusive.

That’s it.

Something intelligent tomorrow, maybe.

41 comments:

squib said...

1.I can't stand Missy Higgins

2. "thou shall not suffer a witch to live" Does that mean when I see a Wiccan driving a car with a 'My other car is a broom' bumper sticker, I can run them off the road? Please say yes

3. We skipped Chomsky and did Halliday. Did I miss anything?

4. The line that worked for me was MrS telling me that he stopped his lawnmower for a butterfly. Awwww. Lucky we got married before he told me how he set a wasp nest on fire

Caroline said...

According to Wikipedia, Ramon, Missy has temporarily relocated to the United States to try and "further her career". Good luck with that, Faux Delta.

Her most recent activities allegedly are:

"In June 2008 Missy got voted #48 in The 2008 AfterEllen.com's Hot 100; a list made by gay and bisexual women.[11]

During the summer of 2008, Missy joined piano and songwriter, Ben Folds, on his summer tour across the United States."


So there you have it.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Does that mean when I see a Wiccan driving a car with a 'My other car is a broom' bumper sticker, I can run them off the road?

God says "yes".

Caroline said...

Anyway, Ramon, I dispute your claim that today is a slow news day. Currently the main picture story on the front page of news.com.au is "MANTYHOSE, THE NEXT FASHION CRAZE FOR MEN?"

BIG day for news, clearly!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Caroline, as long as journos are annoying somebody else and leave me doze me peace - I'm happy.

Isn't the real Delta also in the USA? I wonder what would happen if faux Delta and real Delta met in the one place?

Louche said...

What about K-Rudd's spending spree?

Mantyhose are the hotness. I am ordering The Nerd 15 pairs as we speak.

Caroline said...

Ramon I think all the journos who normally pester you are camped outside Theo whatsisface's house.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Ah, yes.

Theo.

My dealings with him in the past have been - shall we say - unpleasant.

Leilani said...

I think Fiona Horne relocated to the US too to peddle her wiccan ways there. I believe she may have done some sort of ratshit reality tv there.

catlick said...

So, hypothetically, if we legalise gay marriage, she'll possibly headline as Mrs Higgins?

catlick said...

"How do you get girls to like you? I’ve been asking around and results are inconclusive."

(a) I read this and assumed it was a post from Perseus.
(b) When you find out, please let me know.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I doubt very much Ms Higgins will headline anywhere, anymore catlick.

Her day has been and gone.

She will live out her days, rueing lost opportunities along with the other damned souls in a mire of mediocrity, bitterness and remorse.

Happily enough for the rest of us, this particular hell is broadcast on the ABC each Wednesday night at 8:30.

wari lasi said...

What catlick said.

Caroline said...

I love you, catlick. Does that count?

catlick said...

Oh noooooooos, a Pity Party! And yes Caroline, "I love you" does count.

catlick said...

"Isn't the real Delta also in the USA? I wonder what would happen if faux Delta and real Delta met in the one place?"

Faux Delta might get a little bit malignant, and real Delta might get a little bit butch. Then they might try a "duet" which my informed guess says would be predictable, unimaginative, slightly over long, and without a definite finish. Not unlike their music.

Jamie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jamie said...

Delta and Missy are like the communists and the nazis - at opposite ends of the spectrum but, in reality, not terribly different.

Missy would irritate me a bit less if she could settle on an accent to sing in - Shtrine or Faux Yank - and stick with it. She'd still be shit, just marginally less annoying.

Stand by for someone (I'm looking at you, Louche) to tell me Missy is a greatly misunderstood and terribly undervalued artist of global significance.

Mr E Discharge said...

"Isn't the real Delta also in the USA? I wonder what would happen if faux Delta and real Delta met in the one place?"

Acquired Cancer of the Tongue?

Boogeyman said...

If faux Delta got some work done, and real Delta started wearing hemp overalls they'd be like peas in a pod.

Mantyhose would go great with a walrus moustache and a doublet. Times like this I'm grateful there's no Mrs Boogeyman to pooh-pooh such brilliant ideas.

catlick said...

Missy looks almost young enough to be of interest to Bill Henson.

Mantyhose, what's not to like?

Alex said...

Up until now I thought that Missy Higgins was that fat rapper lass with the beret.

Also, I have to question the practicality of the walrus mustache. I can't help but think that having to pass your food through a curtain of hair would present a hygiene problem and increase the risk of intestinal blockages.

I have no thoughts on "Mantyhose".

eat my shorts said...

How do you get girls to like you?

Girls or women?

And why the plural? Got some extra time on your hands?

Perseus said...

You leave Wendy Rule alone!

patchouligirl said...

There are quite a few female artists as good or better then Missy Higgins around now. Colbie Caillat, KT Tunstall and Sara Bareilles would all be taking a chunk of the same market as Missy. On the folk side of things theres John Butler Trio, whose Grand National album is their best yet.

re Mantyhose - Mr Patch would be horrified. The nearest he'll ever come to that is sock protectors or snake guards. If a bloke wants to walk down High St Maitland in mantyhose I'll start a book on how long it takes for him to get bashed.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You leave Wendy Rule alone!

I despair for you Perseus, I really do.

catlick said...

"and real Delta started wearing hemp overalls"

It was wrong the first time round. Don't put it out there.

Perseus said...

Look, as you can imagine, I'm not a big fan of how at the end of gigs she turns and thanks the cosmic spirits of the East Wind and all that. And of course, when she goes off on tangents in between songs about chakras and essences I like to go off to the bar and get another drink , BUT, the woman can sing and she's a top chick.

catlick said...

She seems a little 'Wendy Matthews' before she had all her work done.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

catlick, the chick from Dexy's Midnight Runners looked OK in overalls.

Oh, ghastly hippie wailing is singing now, Pers?

catlick said...

"catlick, the chick from Dexy's Midnight Runners looked OK in overalls."
So did I Ramon. That's no excuse.

Puss In Boots said...

patchouligirl, I think there are many female artists around that are a lot better than the three you've mentioned! Unless you were specifically mentioning mediocre talent because Missy is below that still?

I was quite annoyed when I heard she was touring with Ben Folds. How dare she ruin his tour with her awful pirate impersonation! Although that man also confuses me. You'd think after the first divorce you'd be a little wary of marriage, let alone the third!

wari lasi said...

The lovely (but useless) Delta put the Jonah on the NYSE. She opened trading yesterday (how she qualifies for that is anyone's guess), the market was down nearly 300 at one stage and recovered to close down 76 points.

Rumour has it she'll go to the opening of an envelope.

Mad Cat Lady said...

I like people who laugh at my jokes eg. there were these two penguins walking along and one penguin turned to the other penguin and said, 'what was god thinking when he made penguins? What is with this black and white stuff? We all look the same. Where is the distinction? The individuality? We all look like we are going to a wedding or something. I mean just look! Look at you - you could be wearing a tuxeudo' and the other penguin said, 'what makes you think i'm not?'

Caroline said...

I remember seeing on the interwebs somewhere (maybe t-shirt hell?) a t-shirt that says "I came on Eileen". You should own that Ramon.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye, Caroline.

shitbmxrider said...

I like how there was a mention of 'Delta' and 'Malignant' in the same sentence...unfortunatly, I read it too quickly, got rather excited....


Its amazing how many people you can offend with a combined 'Our Kylie/Our Delta'© theory of relapses when there album sales fall...infact, last person I mentioned that too was a mates girlfriend, who looked a lot like Missy Higgins(which makes me wonder why she is interested in my mate, a male)

catlick said...

'Denial Delta' would be the next phase. I predict an attention-seeking series of rumours designed to raise her profile. With a "Wellness Tour" to follow.

patchouligirl said...

I think there are many female artists around that are a lot better than the three you've mentioned I only picked those three as they are fairly current and would appeal to a similar market.

Boogeyman said...

Perseus, if you like wacky pagany-type singers then you'd be a fan of Rockbitch too, right?

Melba said...

Oh man, Rockbitch was one of the freakiest things I've ever seen. Was on tv late one night, I taped it. Lent it to a friend. Had a falling out with said friend. She still has it.

Bitch has my Rockbitch.