Thursday, December 4, 2008

Dialectical materialism made easy!

People often come up to me and say “Ramon, you filthy Marxist. Explain the concept of dialectical materialism or we’ll kill your cat.”

To which my response is always, “Yeah, fine, go for your life. She’s a vicious, furry anarchist thug and poses a threat to the peace and security of the neighbourhood.”

To which they usually say “Umm, well, we won’t actually kill the cat, but can you explain the concept of dialectical materialism anyway?”

Only too happy to oblige.

The concept of the dialectical goes back to ancient Greece but the concept was refined by the nineteenth century German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel – or “Fred” to his mates.

Hegel believed society progresses through the conflict of opposites and that everything contains within it the seeds of its own negation. Essentially an existing condition (thesis) gives rise to its opposite (antithesis). Conflict between the two produces a new condition (synthesis) which in turn becomes the new thesis.

Marx accepted the idea but applied it to the material world, rather than the world of ideas, thus “turning Hegel on his head”*.

In Marx, the feudal order saw the rise of the bourgeoisie who gained power in the great revolutions of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, only in turn to face the challenge of the proletariat.

So there you have it.

Pers. trot this out at parties and any woman you desire will be putty in your hands.

*Which I believe was a popular pastime in 19th century Germany.

24 comments:

Melba said...

I don't know about putty, Ramon. Left me a little dry. But a big, dirty moustache. Well, that's different.

Boogeyman said...

Pers. trot this out at parties and any woman you desire will be putty in your hands.

I don't know if that'll help, when even a child 30 years younger knows more about women.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The Boy's pick-up line is "what's your cat called?"

Works a treat everytime.

Melba said...

That kid must have read Strauss. One of the Game tips is to go for the pretty girl's somewhat ordinary pal.

catlick said...

This is just a re-hash of my "pendulum" theory. Or is my theory the re-hash? Yoiks!

Perseus said...

"... bourgeoisie who gained power in the great revolutions of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, only in turn to face the challenge of the proletariat... So, can I touch your bottom?"

Like that?

Boogeyman said...

That kid must have read Strauss. One of the Game tips is to go for the pretty girl's somewhat ordinary pal.

Ah yes, I recall Strauss used to pull that trick on the women of Central American tribes all the time.

I especially loved his ground-breaking theories on mythology being a cultural language for picking up chicks.

Melba said...

My Strauss is not as scholarly as your Strauss, Boogeyman. Well, not scholarly at all. He once shared a house with Courtney Love. Did your Strauss do that?

Perseus, if you are seriously after some pick up tips, though you seem to do alright, read the misogynistic work to which I refer - The Game by Neil Strauss.

It's very interesting. In a sociological way.

Perseus said...

I could perhaps turn both Marx and Hegel on their heads by putting forward Dialectical Emotionalism, which posits that it can also be applied to individuals. Lord knows, the seeds of my own negation come from within, and the synthesis of this is the Texan Pirate Goth who stands before you.

Didn't Neitzsche kinda say the same thing with the whole Apollo/Dionysus thingo? Then again, he had syph, so, you know, you have to take Nietzsche in cautious doses.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

So, can I touch your bottom?"

Are you using that as your opening line, Pers?

If so, I think I can see why you're having some trouble with teh chicks.

Melba said...

The direct approach works more often than you would think, Ramon.

But more importantly, breaking news for Perseus. Just heard that Crackers Keenan said The Tigers are going to pick up Cousins as a rookie. Then Eddie McE said he'd heard they'd denied it, and that he couldn't be taken on as a rookie at this stage, would have to go on the list. I couldn't believe it when they said Tigers. I immediately wanted to text you. But this is the next best thing.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Thanks for clearing that up Melba.

So, can I touch your bottom?

Melba said...

Sure, guhead, guhead.

Aesophia said...

I can see that kid having all sorts of issues later in life... In fact I predict that in about 25 year there will be a movie based on the story of his life where he's turned into an alcoholic who can't get chicks for shit, but really just had his heart broken once upon a time (it was probably his mother or something, telling him he's not really superman and all along what he thought was kryptonite was actually a highly GM'd* version of cabbage). His highschool years will be wrought with excessive amounts of teasing and bullying, and all girls avoiding him like the plague. Someone will finally think he's the bees knees in college... until he walks in on her doing the nasty with his best friend - who is a girl. Then he'll live on the royalties of his book for the next 15 years, becoming more and more cynical, and still not getting laid. Until, one day, he meets who he believes is The One... There will be romance and sex (finally) for about three days. Then, after the obligatory lies and deception to make him seem more cool than he actually is, almost ruining the relationship due to aforementioned dishonesty, they'll go through some incredibly dangerous and improbable life-threatening ordeal, only to discover that she was his childhood crush (my how she's grown) and really they were made for each other, so they'll get married and live happily ever after until the credits stop rolling.

Wow... Hollywood should pay me for this tripe! I just outlined the script for the next half a dozen romantic comedies to come out next year...

*nice tie-in to the last post - go me ;P

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Huzzah!

Everybody round to Melba's place for some bottom touching.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And that's some nice work, Aesophia.

Aesophia said...

Why thank you Ramon...

For that I'll let you touch my bottom.

Melba said...

Uh oh. It's a bottom off.

Aesophia said...

My bottom against yours Melba...

Bring on the inuendo ;P

Melba said...

OK, game on.

I've got one word for you, Aesophia.

Kardashianesque.

Now, stop distracting me people. I have work to do.

Aesophia said...

Melba, how on earth do you expect a comment like that to punctuate your winning statement? Even if it does, I'm certainly not leaving it alone ;P

OK, admittedly I had to look that up... And I have now learned a new word: 'celebutant'. My comment to that is 'oh dear'. And to the Kardashians in general, naming all your children with anything starting with the letter 'K' is very Sesame Street. We are not impressed.

However, should your bottom be, as you say Melba, Kardashian, then I may not have the goods to compete.

Unless of course my one word trumps yours:

Burlesque

Melba said...

I think that burlesque would refer to the upper bits, ie pasties, but we were talking about bottoms.

We could create some sort of hybrid hootchi-mama, with your pasties and my kardashianesque rump.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Can I just say how proud I am that a post about the philosophical underpinnings of Marxism has turned into a discussion of people's bottoms.

Let's see Crikey try and top that!

Aesophia said...

Have we made you proud Ramon? Yay!

And Melba, I'm up for that :)