Thursday, December 18, 2008

Enough!

Oh dear God, haven’t we suffered enough?

News reports;

Australia's most famous housewife, Dame Edna Everage, will share her beauty secrets with the world by launching her own cosmetics collection.

It is made in collaboration with MAC, and Dame Edna is the first Australian celebrity to have an international collection with the brand.

Sorry Pers, I know you think Barry Humphries is the goat’s knackers, but even you would have to concede this goes too far.

There are so many, fresh, talented Australians on the world stage. Why pick this tired, one-trick pony?

But by far the worst thing will be the inevitable fawning over this unpleasant cunt by the local media when he makes a flying visit to Australia to flog the product.

Again we’ll be treated to countless gushing articles about how Humphries is a “comedy legend” with a “sharp tongue” and “comic flair”.

No he’s not. He’s a nasty old man with a talent for picking on the defenceless and a fondness for making pompous pronouncements about a country he hasn’t lived in for 30 years.

The paper goes on

Adelaide stylist Filip Odzak said he thought it would be successful.

"When we think of Dame Edna we don't see a man in drag - she is an Australian icon."

Again, no he’s not.

An icon is devotional painting of Christ or the saints*, of particular relevance to the Orthodox Churches. Barry Humphries is mostly devoted to himself.

*Sadly, not Ed Kuepper or Chris Bailey.

38 comments:

Louche said...

Are young women supposed to buy the range? I love MAC but what a bizarre choice. Cheap blue eyeshadow, mmmm.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

That did strike me as well, Louche.

"OMG, I think I'll go out and buy make-up that makes me look like an ageing drag-queen!"

catlick said...

This will provide yet another opportunity for Dame Edna to parade and mortify a mute (female) sidekick whilst pretending the task at hand (flogging stuff) is infra dig. You'd think after 50 years this would get a bit old. What out of focus group thought this would work? Seahorse acolytes?

squib said...

This reminds me of that film 'Australia'. It's like everyone's got tired and run out of ideas and they're just rehashing any old crap

catlick said...

Germain Greer gave that film a serve.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Luhrmann's fake epic, set in 1939

Germs, peace be upon her, is quite wrong.

The film climaxes with the Japanese bombing of Darwin.

Given the first attack occured in February 1942 would mean the film is set in the early 1940s.

catlick said...

Yes but isn't there lots of droving and wooing and stuff in between?

Boogeyman said...

Germaine Greer is like one of those old-fashioned elephant rifles with a big mouth on the end. You point her at any old target and she'll fire out a verbal spray.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Three years of droving and wooing seems like a lot of droving and wooing to me, Catlick.

But what would I know, I've never droved.

I have wooed, though.

Boogeyman said...

It takes a lonnngggg time to drove a steampile of cattle from one outback station to another, Ramon. And Nicole Kidman was pretty icy, too.

wari lasi said...

You point her at any old target and she'll fire out a verbal spray

Hear, hear Boogey.

Her and Barry Humphreys should get together, they both seem to have a habit of being Australian when it suits them, revenue wise, but they spend the rest of their time slagging us.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Well said, Wari.

And the film wouldn't have gone so long if it was called Preston.

Lady Sarah: "What are you doin'?"

Drover: "I'm wooing you."

Lady Sarah: "Well, hurry up dickhead. This alabaster skin ain't going to stay alabaster for much longer. And what sort of fuckin' name is 'Drover'?"

catlick said...

Love the brittle exchanges between Baz and Nic re working together ever again. And Baz is spinning the world wide box office failure in a manner that underlines how big a bomb it really is.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Baz - "I'm scared and fearful of this. Will everyone get it?"

Oh, we get it, Baz, we get it.

That's your problem.

wari lasi said...

Poor Baz, just remember that it's better to have wooed and lost, than to never have wooed at all.

Or maybe not.

Lewd Bob said...

An icon is devotional painting of Christ or the saints, of particular relevance to the Orthodox Churches.

Oh no! You mean Kingswoods, Eskies, VB, Vegemite and Dawn Fraser are no longer icons?

We're poorer for this definition clarification.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Not really, no.

catlick said...

Our Dawn (RegisteredTrademark) is deservedly iconographic for swimming but she loses points for going bankrupt selling beer in Balmain. It's unAustralian!

wari lasi said...

going bankrupt selling beer in Balmain. It's unAustralian!

Not to mention almost impossible. You can charge practically what you like in Balmain, it has a great pub culture, and Dawn is sort of an honourary bloke who should know the beer market.

catlick said...

" Dawn is sort of an honourary bloke"

I've heard it called lots of things, but, that'll do too.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I think it was meant as a compliment, Catlick.

wari lasi said...

Of course it was a compliment.

However you want to take it. I like her. She talks straight, and was obviously an exceptional sportsperson. Notwithstanding her clear lack of business acumen.

catlick said...

My bad, I thought it was a euphemism.

Boogeyman said...

Welcome to the club of honourary blokes, Catlick, you bonza sheila you.

Louche said...

Dawn is much more of a mouth for hire than Germaine. And a darn sight less eloquent too.

catlick said...

"Welcome to the club of honourary blokes, Catlick, you bonza sheila you."

Why thank you Boogey. Where shall I send my club fees?

Lewd Bob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lewd Bob said...

Speaking of Dawn Fraser, and making a clever reverse segue, here's a webite we should become familiar with:

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

catlick said...

Typiong one hamded now!

That's because my other hand is over my eyes. You bastard Bob. BTW does anyone recall Bono's Superbowl performance where he impersonated kdlang?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Bono and k d lang are two different people?

catlick said...

Oh, and the correct term for these freaks is "lesmen" (doubling down on the irony).

Boogeyman said...

Dammit, my work filter blocks Bob's site as 'Entertainment'.

Clearly there are some IT sysadmins who find men who look like old lesbians very entertaining.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You're not allowed to be entertained at work, Boogey?

Seems a bit harsh.

Boogeyman said...

Not by men who look like old lesbians, clearly.

It is highly draconian and likely one of the first cracks that soon leads to a bloody and ruthless coup.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Hey, wait a minute!

You can clearly access TSFKA at work, so they don't classify it as "entertainment".

Oh, thank you soulless IT drones at Boogey's work, thak you very much!

homesick said...

Thank you LB thank you.. my Aunty Olma thanks you bless her old gay heart.

I forwarded your link and she emailed back saying she hasn't laughed that much since Debbie Hutton announced she was dating Harry M.

The only men she has ever fancied were jockeys.

Lewd Bob said...

Well then homesick, posting that link was worthwhile after all. I live to make old gay women happy. I actually thought I'd be accused of being terribly lowbrow. Which would be accurate.

Neil Finn making the list was my favourite thing today.

wari lasi said...

I took the weekend off TSFKA. But Catlick, you should know it was a euphemism.