Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I don't care who's making the feckin' gravy

People must know by now I’m a huge Paul Kelly fan but in the lead-up to Christmas, 774 in Melbourne has been flogging perhaps his worst song pretty much non-stop.

“How to make gravy” is a compendium of crap Paul Kelly songs; musically overblown, trite and schmaltzy.

But these lines really give me the flying shits.

Just add flour, salt, a little red wine and don’t forget a dollop of tomato sauce for sweetness and that extra tang.

Fuck Paul, who makes gravy like that?

Spoon the stuff out of the Gravox tin, whack it in some boiling water and get back on the sauce like everybody else.

And on that festive note, I’d like to wish all the wonderful CuntCunts at TSFKA best wishes and happy travelling.

See you when all this madness is over.

45 comments:

wari lasi said...

Thanks Ramon, and in keeping with my non-confrontational stance I whole heartedly agree with you regarding the gravy.

And Merry Christmas to all TSFKAers from WL and the lovely Emma in sunny Port Moresby.

homesick said...

Yuletide greetings from all here in the Caribbean. As you're about 12 hours ahead I imagine most are well pissed by now or just pissed off with wrapping lots of nasty shit from Target.

Peace, love, mung beans and cold Cooper all 'round.

Homesick X

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's still Christmas Eve here, homesick old stick.

I'm at work.

Melba said...

I'm at home playing Risk with the kids. A spot of world domination and all that on Christmas Eve. I'm almost holding 3 continents.

And that gravy sounds disgusting.

homesick said...

If its any consolation Ramon, Spouse will be working till about 10pm on Xmas Eve (tomorrow night) sorting out rich funds that are going tits up in the current economic climate.

Mind you it won't stop yours truly knocking back the odd bevy or three with neighbours.

Off to do the wrapping thing.... with glass of red in hand of course and a well rolled 'attitude adjuster' to help me through the evening.

Melba said...

THREE CONTINTENTS!

N America, S America, Africa.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Melba, the key to Africa is the Strait of Gibraltars.

The Visigoths knew it.

The Berbers knew it.

Now you know it.

eat my shorts said...

I hate hate hate that song too.

Have a great Christmas everyone, try not to eat too many baubles and drink too much wrapping.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

"Gibraltar" even.

Bugger.

Melba said...

Thanks Ramon. Invading Europe now from the south, my assault from east into Asia is being repelled.

Melba said...

Mongolia and Yakutsa taken! My hoards are rampaging.

Melba said...

Game over.

Happy Eating and Drinking everyone.

Louche said...

Merry Xmas everyone.

I put tomato sauce in onion gravy, but not a roast gravy.

Off to bake a chocolate tart and wrap presents while listening to The Rat Pack Christmas.

Mad Cat Lady said...

I have never heard of anybody putting tomato sauce in a gravy. My brother in law makes his from scratch when he does a roast and they are awesome - merry christmas - woot - have consumed far too much booze already - thank god my mother isn't here - even though I am an atheist - it's worth thanking somebody for.

patchouligirl said...

Yes I've got to wrap presents for little one, who at 21 months has no idea what it is all about. We had the Wangi ferry go past an hour ago, blaring a Boney M Xmas carol on what must be a pretty impressive p a, it sounded like it was next door! We have a lovely view of Wangi Bay from our new home. There has been a large yacht (named 'yesdear') moored in the bay for the last few weeks with lights in the shape of a xmas tree on its mast which we can see from our window. New Years eve everyones coming here as we have a great view of the fireworks at the RSL across the bay. Merry Christmas all from Lake Macquarie!

WitchOne said...

Merry Christmas from whitetrashville!!! My sister and I (at 31 and 20) had our first ever Santa photo taken together. We have her grandmother and our grandparents (mine are dead) coming tomorrow, along with the MIL and the first time I have had both my parents in the same house on Christmas day it's going to emotional.

So I'm doing shots.

Cheers all!

WitchOne said...

Actually, I can see tomato sauce in gravy working very well. The old tom sauce is in my BBQ sauce (for meatloaf only) recipe, along with instant coffee.

Plus, tom sauce, tom paste, maple syrup, Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar all go into make baked beans (oh yes they do), it could make sense.

Boogeyman said...

Yes, cheery Yule, happy Hannukah and revelrous Ramadan to allz.

shitbmxrider said...

Merry Christmas to the associated bastards and cunt cunts of TSFKA...

Me, Ive just had lunch with Mum/Stepdad etc...

And now im about to jump in my car and drive to Brisbane, arrival sometime tommorow, to see Dad/Stepmum etc..

Fun fun

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Oh God.

So full with food.

Must die.

Oh, hang on. There's another piece of pork to be eaten.

Boogeyman said...

If you'd flown to Brisbane, SBMX, you could have had Christmas lunch in Melbourne, then harnessed the ancient powers of DST to arrive in Brisvegas in time for a second Christmas lunch.

WitchOne said...

Food, drink, random drugged out teenagers running screaming down the road. Not a family fight in sight. Soooo much fooood.............

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Perseus said...

I ate so much I won't be able to walk for a fortnight.

Merry Everything, everyone!

Love and kisses to you all.

Melba said...

Announcement: I did not eat too much. I did not DRINK too much.

AND NOW I AM WATCHING THE CRICKET.

It's a hat-trick of unlikeliness'es for me.

Can I develop an interest in cricket at my age/gender?

catlick said...

"Can I develop an interest in cricket at my age/gender?"

Yes you can Melba, yes you can.

catlick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shitbmxrider said...

well, 16 hours of driving, and I have arrived in the lovely little cultural backwater here in Queensland that my dad calls home for 6 months of the year...average speed of 98kph, 1600-odd kms...17hrs of travel time in total...


Woo!

Boogeyman said...

SBMX, I'm impressed that after a 17-hour drive from Melbourne, the first thing you thought to do was hop on the computer and let us know you arrived. That's dedication.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Melba, an interest in cricket at any age or gender is to be lauded.

Second Test is turning into a cracker.

shitbmxrider said...

Boogey: Im in Stanthorpe, QLD..

Apart from talk to the family(which Ill be doing more than enough of till Tuesday) theres fuckall else to do here

wari lasi said...

Well I'm simply amazed at everyone's dedication.

And SBMX, I'm off to Brisbane (Chapel Hill to be sort of precise) at 1:40pm today. Average speed should be between 800 & 900 kmh. Just short of 3 hours.

Ramon, I agree about the cricket. It would have been nice to see Hayden have a decent knock though.

WitchOne said...

Come to Melbourne Wari!

Melba said...

Well, my experienced eye told me that wasn't a catch earlier. The fieldsman's body language was a giveaway. As was the way the ball touched the ground through the gaps in his fingers.

Err.

catlick said...

And that, Melba is the delicious part of cricket. The structural inclusion of inequity: it's a beautiful thing.

Puss In Boots said...

Merry Christmas from the other side of the world!

And that's not how you make gravy, Ramon. I'm ashamed of you!

Also, I have seen some little statues of owl-men over here. I was going to buy you one as a souvenir, but I thought sending it to Ramon Insertnamehere, C/- The Site Formally Know As might confuse the already primitive postal system here.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Thanks for thinking of me, Puss.

might confuse the already primitive postal system here

You're in the UK, right?

patchouligirl said...

Hey there Puss, how's the anti bacterial spray and satin sleeping bag liner going? Encountered any exotic germs yet?

Lewd Bob said...

What happens if the brain receives more beer than oxygen? Please advise hurriedly.

WitchOne said...

It increases your intelligmence.

wari lasi said...

Witchie is on the money there Bob.

And I'd love to dash down to Melbourne Witchie but got too much to do here.

Go to the cricket, it should be be a good finish now and looks like we'll see five days. Had lunch with my brother yesterday who flies back to Melbourne today (he lives in Parkdale, wherever that is) and is a member of the G. He'll be there tomorrow, if you run into him, say G'Day. He doesn't look anything like me, by the way.

Puss In Boots said...

Nope, not in the UK. Think Third World.

And yes, there are many exotic germs here. For some reason though, I am the only one who has managed to avoid getting violently ill and shooting liquids out of both ends. I maintain it's the antibacterial gel and wipes!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Puss, the U.K. is in the Third World.

Have you ever tried to take a hot shower there?

WitchOne said...

Damn you Wari, my birthday is 5th Jan. I was hoping for a surprise.

wari lasi said...

Sorry Witchie, I'm back to the real third world on Wednesday. Happy Birthday for the 5th though! 21 again?

Hey Puss, did you drop in to PNG? And fancy not saying hello. For shame.

Puss In Boots said...

Wari - not in PNG sorry. But my sister was just there, funnily enough.

Ramon - the showers there can't be worse than here. I can't remember the last time I had a proper hot shower. Things I miss about Australia:

- bread rolls with bread in them instead of being hollow;
- toilet paper more than 1 ply;
- cold drinks from stores;
- chocolate bars;
- fresh vegetables and fruits;
- grass;
- fly screens;
- walking down the street without being beeped at by empty taxis every 2 seconds;
- cats;
- bookstores;
- hot showers, or showers with enough water pressure to wash my hair;
- sound proof walls.

And many other things. But I'm still having a great time and seeing lots of cool things. Like the sun setting over the ocean, and very high mountains that gave me nose bleeds, and deserts that still weren't hot enough for me, and crazy traffic in ginormous cities, and various foods I would never have eaten otherwise, etc etc.