Dear Cde. Kosky,
Look I hate to trouble you, what with that Myki thingo you’re wrestling with (and by-the-way, how piss-funny was it when you were demonstrating how simple Myki was to use and the front of the machine fell off. And all the television cameras were there. You do know that the tellies will continue to use that clip every time your name is mentioned from now until the sun expands into a yellow giant and vaporises the earth, don’t you?).
My beef concerns those new, yellow trams. The tone produced when the stop button is pressed sounds alarmingly like the opening chords of “Heaven (must be there)” by the Eurogliders.
I didn’t fight against fascism to have my ears assaulted by bad ‘80s synth-pop every time I jump on the tram. I suggest something more suitable, like “Love will tear us apart’ by Joy Division.
Won’t somebody please think of the children?
Hoping you’re keeping well.
Cde. Ramon Insertnamehere.